Unhappy

I find myself still unsure as to whether or not I want to continue with graduate school. I'm unhappy for long stretches of time. I also find myself thinking I'd be happier working. There's a wide variety of jobs that I'd like to do... I wouldn't mind just working in an office, or at a library, or in a bookstore, or I don't know... I'm just not sure graduate school is where I want to be. This feeling as put me in a rather... emotional instability field. Things that normally wouldn't bother me are making me exceedingly unhappy - like getting a less than stellar grade on an assignment, or an off-hand remark from a professor or another student, or being unsure what the next step in a homework problem is. And things that would normally make me really happy aren't making me as happy as they normally would.

I miss weekends and evenings. For example, this weekend was awesome (because I was away from school) until it came time for me to come back to school, at which point I found myself wishing that I didn't have to come back. It's not that I want to stay at home, because I really, really don't, but ultimately I'm not happy in Santa Cruz. The place is wonderful, but the school, not so much.

Anyway, this weekend I spent time with family and also hung out with Julia. Rented Lucky Number Slevin and watched it with Mom. An excellent movie, full of twists and turns and good actors. I was very impressed. Wish I had purchased it, rather than rented it. Went and saw Running With Scissors with Julia. Very bizarre. That's all I can say. Don't really know how to describe it or how I felt after seeing it.