Up in the Air

As most of you already know I'm back from Italy and have been for a while. It took a long time (about 40 hours) due to cancelled flights (several in fact) and a night spent in the Chicago airport. It was all kinds of special. :) But I was extremely happy to be home. Don't get me wrong, Italy was amazing and I loved it, but I missed home.

Although, I did return to find that I had no idea what I was going to do. I had notified Jim that I wouldn't be returning, I'd cleaned out my apartment (although I left a few things there), and I'd done everything that needed to be done as far as quitting school went... But, then I ran out of things to take care of. Now all I need is a job. Or a plan. Or something. I've never felt as lost as I do now. That's not to say that I regret my decision, because I don't. However, the lack of regrets doesn't change the fact that I don't know what I'm doing. After high school there was Berkeley, after Berkeley there was Santa Cruz... Now what?

It doesn't help that I don't even know what kind of job I want. And I keep getting this nagging feeling that I might have majored in the wrong thing in college. But, my major won't define me forever. I have applied for a job that I'd love to get, but I'm not sure I will. I don't really feel qualified for anything. That's alright though. It'll all work out. Because it has to.

Time for an abrupt change of topic. Despite the fact that I don't have any money flowing in, it's been flowing out... And not on anything critical (well, a couple things critical - like the credit card charges I racked up in Italy and my cell phone bill). I've seen two movies - Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (loved it, although the dementors were definitely a tad strange to me after what they looked like in the third movie, but I suppose things like that are bound to happen when every one of them is directed by somebody new) and Pirates (really liked this one too). I also bought way too many DVD sets - the first season of Psych (hilarious), the first two seasons of The Office (love it - by the way it was almost the same price to buy the two season combo as it was to buy just the second season), and the first season of Sex and the City. I'd never seen the first ten episodes, which surprised me a little. I also bought my brother a really nice (read slightly expensive) birthday present. And Grandma's birthday was yesterday (although we're celebrating on Saturday) so I need a gift for her. Sigh. Good thing I have a chunk of change in the bank.

Alrighty then. I'm lost, but not unhappy. At least, not yet. Always the optomist.