For me?

The last post was for Adora. I think maybe this one is for me. hahaha.

Yesterday was pretty terrific. Went to Berkeley and hung out with Angie. I had a really great time and am really glad I went. We ate a lot of yummy food (and sweets) and saw Dreamgirls and went shopping. Good times.

However, I find myself back at school and depressed (again). I'm really unhappy and frustrated. I feel trapped by scholastic and familial obligations. I am tired of looking for the stupid shoes I am supposed to wear. I am tired of graduate school. I want to work during the week, have weekends open, and have a plan. Graduate school was the plan (sort of). But within graduate school there is no plan. I don't have a project (even a small one), I read random papers, I have classes and meetings that seem pointless and ARE boring. I just don't want to do it anymore.

I was all excited about Italy and China, but am finding myself feeling more and more unhappy about it. They're both going to be insanely expensive (well, considering how much money I have) and from what I can tell I'm footing the majority of the costs. I will also be going to go to conferences and lectures, which I am decidedly unhappy about. I want to go to travel and look around. I do NOT want to go to be bored out of my skull for hours on end. I can stay here and do that for much less money.

I am tired of waiting for school to be over for my life to begin.

I'm also tired of feeling like people aren't taking what I say seriously.