welcome to my life...

Love being right...

2009-04-07T19:19:00.000-07:00

We all now that I love to be right. That's probably why Judey doesn't like me all that much. Because I love being right so much that I try really, really hard not to be wrong. And I get this sense of satisfaction when I'm right, that I think is shown clearly on my face. Oh well... a lot of emotions show very clearly on my face - I have a look that says "fuck you" quite clearly, and I can't control it. Oh well, again. Judey will just have to deal with that.

Other than that... not much.

2009-04-01T20:23:00.000-07:00

Watched a really cool new show on HBO today - The Number 1 Ladies' Detective Agency. It's about a woman in Africa who loses her father and decides she's going to move to the city and become a private detective. I love HBO because the show is actually filmed in Africa with wonderful actors. It's a great show if you have the time and opportunity.

Other than that... Work was okay. Boss is crazy... Literally. Nobody likes her. In fact, most people (at least on the staff) loathe her. And I'm not being overdramatic. It's sad - the department would be a really great place to work if it wasn't for her.

Am trying to figure out what I want to do this weekend - go home or stay in Berkeley. My state tax refund is in Stockton... but, I kind of want to hang out around here and do something fun. Not sure yet though. I do know I'll be in Stockton the following week for Easter... we'll see.

A Wonderfully Long Weekend and a Beautiful New Computer

2009-03-30T18:34:00.000-07:00

I took Wednesday and Thursday of last week off, and then Friday was a holiday. So I had a wonderful five days off work. Tueday evening my Mom came down and we went to Barney's for dinner. Yummy, obviously. Wednesday we went to the California Academy of Sciences, which was awesome. They have the largest fully digital planetarium in the country, a really cool rainforest habitat, the Steinhart Aquarium, and the living roof. We saw some really amazing things like the albino alligator, the Chinese Giant Salamander (which was about three feet long - if not longer), penguins, and much more. We spent basically all day there and had a great time. We then came back to Berkeley and went to Cancun for dinner, which was excellent.

Thursday I went to Angel Island with Angie. We hiked to the top of Mount Livermore, which only has an elevation of about 782 feet, but an unparalleled view of the bay and the Golden Gate Bridge. We then walked around the island on the Sunset Trail. The weather was superb. We then came back to Berkeley and made pesto - well, Angie made it. It was delicious! It was much easier than I thought to be gourmet.

Friday I went home to Stockton and hung out with Mom, Dad, Peter, and Angela. Then I went with Peter to take Angela to the doctor. The doctor gave her a couple of shots, she was not a happy camper. I felt so bad for her. She started screaming and crying. Peter told her not to be such a chicken. Then she bit him, and he said "OW!" I told him not to be such a chicken. Hahaha.

While we were leaving the doctor's office my roommate called. Someone had broken into our apartment, stolen our laptops, phone chargers, etc... More on this later.

Saturday I went to Great America with Peter, Melanie, Johnnie and Coonie (Melanie's godbrothers). I had a great time. Went on the Vortex, Invertigo, Demon, White Water Rapids, etc. Exhilirating. I also won Angela a huge stuffed whale (black with little sparklies on it). I was so proud of myself. I won it playing the ring toss right before we left. It didn't even fit in the trunk. I mean, it was huge.

Sunday I went to Best Buy with my Mom and bought a new laptop. It's very cool. And pretty. And it wasn't very expensive. Sadly, I have lost all of my pictures and everything else that was on my other laptop. Which was worth much more to me than the laptop itself. When I returned to Berkeley later in the day, I found that they had also taken my iPod docking station and my broadband internet card. So I went and bought a new phone charger and got a new broadband card. Stupid bastards. Ended up spending about $800 yesterday. Oh well. I really like my computer. I wanted a new one anyone, just didn't feel like it was an acceptable expense. But it quickly became acceptable when I no longer had a reliable, fully functional computer.

Today was back to work. The day actually didn't seem to long. Still would be nice to be able to sleep in. I surprised myself by waking up before six today (which is on time to get to work) even though I had forgotten to set my alarm clock. Sigh... Pays off that I can no longer sleep in. Haha.

The Dentist...

2009-03-05T21:49:00.001-08:00

I went to the dentist today for the first time in... several years. Of course I have all of the normal excuses - no insurance, no time, no desire... But I finally had to go. Check up and a cleaning. Turns out I need to get a couple of fillings repaired (awesome!), which will cost $150. Geez-a-loo. But, it could be worse. I also made an appointment with an oral surgeon to get my wisdom teeth removed. The dentist today, Dr. Boeck, said... Yep, those definitely need to come out. There's just no room for them in your mouth. So... next month will be fun. hahaha.

Other than that... Things at work are a bit strange. My supervisor was changed. I'm not sure why. It doesn't make a lot of sense. Seems like half of the department staff are my unofficial supervisors. I also am feeling more comfortable speaking up to Judey about work matters - pointing out where her ideas may need revisions, etc. Being off probation is doing a lot for me. Although, after the 21st I may get bumped back down to 80%. My full time status was only temporary. It sounds like it will be extended, but I'm not sure.

Found out today that my walk to work is actually closer to two miles. Meaning I walk about four miles a day. Pretty impressive, if I do say so myself. I actually walked about six miles today - because I walked to the dentist. My feet are a teensy bit sore, but the exercise was worth it. Plus, I passed Cheeseboard on the way home and got a slice of pizza for a late lunch. Yummy! I had forgotten how awesome Cheeseboard is. And inexpensive too. Also, the weather was pretty wonderful. So that was nice.

Anywho... I think I may go see Watchmen. Although, I may wait until next week. Maybe I can go see it after my dental appointment on Tuesday... mmm... A sort of reward for taking care of my dental needs - well other than the fact that my teeth won't rot and fall out. :)

SURPRISE

2009-02-25T21:17:00.001-08:00

Hahaha, I doubt anyone even checks to see if I update this anymore. I know I wouldn't, since it's been about four months.

I'm almost off probation at work! Which means that they won't be able to fire me without going through a big, big, big hassle. Especially since I'm union. In times such as these, that's all I can really ask for. I'm very happy to have a job and to work with people I really like... well, except for Judey, but in every life a little rain must fall... And the odd thing is, I think Judey has actually warmed up to me quite a bit and might actually like me. Bizarre. Today was a bit hilarious... Judey was wearing an all purple outfit (pants, shirt, sweater) and I kept thinking, what is so familiar about this? Then it hit me! She looks just like Violet from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, post the dessert course of blueberry pie from the gum. Hahaha. It's also very nice to be accumulating vacation and sick leave, as well as being able to stick money in my savings account every month.

I'm not sure what I'm saving the money for, but I'm saving it. So many things I'd like to do - a new car (newish at least), a trip (or two), etc. etc.

Hm... other than that. Life is just kind of plodding along. My niece, Angela, turned 8 months old today. She's absolutely adorable. She's also a very happy little kid. She laughs and smiles and cuddles.

Adora's wedding plans are moving forward. Less than 10 months and one of my best friends will be married... Crazy! I hope to take a few days off around the wedding so that I can go down and help out with set up and everything. Plus I can take my time coming up and going down.

As for me, I don't plan to date, no matter how many people say that I should be. It's not like I want to be alone, but I don't want to go out and meet a bunch of strangers either...

2008-10-28T19:59:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I haven't posted in... forever. I don't tend to use the computer much outside of work anymore. I guess I'm past the point of wanting to be on the computer 24/7. When I was in school it was never a problem; I was on it at home, at school, all the time. Now I'm on it at work, and a lot of the time I don't even turn on my home computer.

I've been working in the Astronomy department for about six or seven weeks now. It's an interesting job most of the time. I do reimbursements, I handle keeping track of the two cars and two parking spaces the department owns, I do the recharge journals (dealing with thousands of dollars... oooo), and various other things around the department. They really like me there - I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that the guy who had the job before me was completely and truly awful. He couldn't do the work, he yelled at people, and he smelled bad (or so they tell me). I can do the work quickly, I am friendly, and everybody (or almost) knew me from when I was a work study. I've been working 32 hours a week, but next week they're bumping me up to full time. Yay! Means more money, which I could use.

Mom and I are planning a trip to Florida to go to Disney World and visit some family in January of 2010. I know, seems like a long way off, but Mom likes to plan that far ahead. Plus, it will give me a chance to save up money and vacation time. :) Found out pretty quickly into the job that I'm not allowed to use my vacation time during my probationary period (the first six months), so that should definitely help me save it up. And because of this, I'm going to have to work on Christmas Eve! What a bummer. Oh well.

I also really want to take a trip sometime during the summer or fall. Perhaps to England. Or maybe somewhere a little closer. I haven't really decided yet. But something interesting and exciting.

Have been reading my way through the Discworld series by Terry Pratchett. I really enjoy the Death books and the stories involving Rincewind. But I've only read about nine of them. I've been reading quite a bit. I finally read Mansfield Park. I enjoyed it, but obviously not as much as Pride and Prejudice. The ending didn't seem quite as satisfying - but it was still a happy one for my favorite character. I felt like I could really connect with Fanny Price. Right now am re-reading Jane Eyre. Sigh... I love this book.

Other than that... Peter has my car now. His died. I felt that because he drives to work everyday and has the little one that he needs the car much more than I do. I walk to work and rarely drove my car anymore. I might get it back in a while, but I'm not holding my breath or anything. Angela is beyond adorable. Everytime I see her she seems cuter than the last time. She's smiling and lauging now. She's very curious and loves to look around and play. She's just darling.

Um... that's my life in a nut shell. I work, watch DVDs (from Netflix), hang out with my roommate, Tina, and read books. I also occasionally visit Stockton or my family visits me here. All in all, I'm really enjoying Berkeley.

Moving

2008-09-05T15:23:00.000-07:00

I'm moving tomorrow! As I said in my last post I found a really great apartment, and tomorrow is move in. I'm very excited, but in a tired, I can't wait to be done with moving, sort of way. Because I know that the after move - oh crap, I need... shopping will likely occur. Or, the, "maybe I can wait until I'm next at home" thoughts happen. But, it's all worth it.

My parents have also been super great about the whole thing. Financing the move, actually helping me move down there (Peter and Dad), and all that.

Excellent News

2008-08-26T22:01:00.001-07:00

Well, the time has finally arrived. I have a job! Yay. I am going to be an Administrative Assistant (or something) in the Astronomy department at Berkeley. So, I am currently looking for a place to live in the Berkeley area. Moving out! So excited. Of course, finding a place to live can be a little difficult, but it will be well worth it. I love my parents, but they are driving me crazy. Also, I get to leave Stockton!

Anyway, I'm really excited and happy.

Pride and Prejudice

2008-08-09T22:04:00.000-07:00

I have just finished reading Pride and Prejudice for what must be the tenth time. In addition to the book I've seen the A&E version a few times, the popular Keira Knightly version several times, and the Indian/Bollywood Version - Bride and Prejudice - a few times as well. I don't really know why I love the story so much, but I'm certainly not alone. I remember thinking that I wouldn't like it when we were going to read it in high school - it seemed like it would be too romantic, too feminine. But I love it. It would certainly be among the three books I'd take with me on a desert island - assuming I had the foresight to pack three books. Haha.

I've read quite a bit in the past two weeks. I've read the Twilight Series - I actually read the first three twice in a very short period. I know it's odd, but I've always been one to re-read and re-watch things several times. Repetition never bothers me, as long as quality and/or enjoyment was there the first time. I re-read Darcy's Story (Pride and Prejudice from Darcy's perspective) and Timeline by Michael Crichton. And then of course - Pride and Prejudice itself. It is a bit strange, I must admit, for me to re-read old books when I have so many new ones I haven't gotten to yet... Oh well.

As for other goings on - I've been substituting, although jobs have been rather scarce. I've hung out with Zenitra a few times, which has been nice. And tomorrow I'll be seeing Angie, Kathryn, Danny, and Thomas. Oh, and today I went and visited Peter and Angela with my mom. She's gotten so big! She's six weeks old and already 23.5 inches long - which is pretty amazing, given that she was only 20 inches when she was born. She's also adorable. And... that's all. :)

Regret

2008-08-06T20:39:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking quite a bit about regret recently. I'm sure, that like me, everyone has some degree of regret with which they live. Regrets about missed opportunities, what the judge to be bad decisions made in the past, or simply wrong decisions. Wondering if they had taken an even slightly different path at one point in their lives what the rest would have turned out like. Very recently I re-read Timeline by Michael Crichton and he was discussing the idea of a multiverse. The multiverse is made of a vast number of universes, each the result of a different possible outcome from every moment with more than one possibility. Some universes would be very similar to ours, others would be drastically different. There'd be one where Hitler won WWII rather than lost. One where Al Gore became president, rather than George Bush. Etc, etc.

This got me thinking. Not about the entire universe, granted, but about my own. About all the decisions I've ever made - especially those where I'm not sure if I made the right decision or not - and the other possible lives I could have. Of course, this is rather silly. How do I know what would have been a good decision and what would have been a bad decision. Perhaps, what I think of now as a wrong decision, led to a better life now than it would have. But, then, I suppose it could go the other way as well. A decision I feel was the absolute right decision, could have been the absolute wrong decision and I would never know.

Well, of course this is all rather ridiculous. I can't change any of the decisions I've made, even if I wanted to, and even if I had that power I would never know which decisions I should change. I actually don't have many regrets - not large ones anyway. There are a couple, but they are ones I can live with.

A Good Day, Rationalization

2008-07-06T22:42:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was fantastic! It didn't start off all that great - with a small verbal altercation with my grandmother. Details aren't all that important, but it ended by her calling me "uppity," which really ticked me off. Anyway, we'll get back to that in a moment.

I met Susie for lunch at The Elephant Bar, which neither of us had been to before. It was yummy!! I had creme brulee for the first time. It was magical. :) Conversation was great as well. We then went to see Wall-E. It was awesome!! Funny, cute, witty - another winner from Pixar. They have never let me down, and I hope they never will! Keep it up, Pixar!! Afterwards, I met Peter, Melanie, and Angela at the mall. We then went to Donna's for a while. A fun, fun day.

And then I had to go back to Grandma's. Which, is not something I wanted to do. She's manipulative, rude, hypocritical, stubborn, etc. Which, I am not saying that I'm never any of those things because I know that I am, but she frustrates me and brings out the worst in me. I feel guilty for disliking my grandmother and I felt resentful of the fact that I had to be there to do things for her that she can do herself, but refuses to do because I can do it for her. And, of course, I was supposed to do the chores, but I got treated like a kid... I don't know. Well, last night/this morning, I decided I'd had about enough. She gets around just fine and can do for herself - she just refuses while I'm there. So, I left. I know she's my grandmother and I should be willing to do things for her, but I have my limits... But perhaps I'm just trying to rationalize everything so that I don't feel guilty about leaving.

Although, I did go back tonight to make dinner for her. And, I'll be going tomorrow to take out her garbage and change her patch. And, I'm always a phone call away. So, we'll see.

14 miles, give or take

2008-07-04T15:47:00.000-07:00

Well, yesterday I rode my back about 14 miles, give or take. I know to some it may not sound like a lot, but I'm really proud of myself. I rode to the drug store to get my grandmother's medicine and then off to the book store - to get something to try and distract myself from living with Grandma. She's driving my batty!! Anywho, it was a wonderful way to get some exercise and to get out of the house. :)

Other than that... Am looking forward to going to Modesto tomorrow.

Yesterday I went to the movies with my mom and saw Hancock. I must say, I really, really liked it. There were some really hilarious parts, some really predictable plot twists (at least I thought so, my mom didn't think they were), but a really great cast and story line. There was one twist I just didn't see coming. While it didn't get the best reviews, I'd have to say that it's near the top of my summer movie list. I would highly recommend it.

Biking Again

2008-07-02T20:50:00.000-07:00

I went and got my bicycle from home today... It's nice to finally be able to ride it again, now that the smoke has cleared from Stockton. :) I have started calling my bike Stardust, as it's beautiful and all silver. Anywho...

Talked to Susie a little bit ago. Will be going to Modesto on Saturday for a visit. Hurrah! We'll be going to see Wall-E and out to lunch. I'm super excited. Not only has it been quite a while since I saw Susie, but I don't get a lot of social interaction with people outside of using AIM. Well, that and I really, really want to see Wall-E. :) While I'm there, I think I'll stop by and visit Peter, Melanie, and Angela. Yay.

Focusing on the positives

2008-07-02T14:08:00.000-07:00

I think I generally try to be an optimistic person, but often my pessimism rears its ugly head. These last couple days I've had some help staying positive. My Mom has been finding excuses to spring me from my grandmother's house, I've talked to friends on the phone/aim, I've hung out with my kitty (which somehow just puts me a great mood), fixed my own computer! (which was a little scary, as I've never tried to take a dvd/cd player out of a laptop before), gotten paid (by both the government and my job), read the latest in the Fruits Basket series, hung out with Peter, Melanie and Angela, and spent some time in Berkeley with Angie. I also have some tenuous plans to hang out with Susie in Modesto, also wonderful. All of these things have helped me, and I greatly appreciate it.

Oh, I also watched Wanted on Monday. It was fantastic! I loved it. Lucky Number Slevin meets the Matrix. The action sequences were amazing, there was actually a great story line, plot twists, and great acting. I would certainly recommend it. For those of you who haven't seen it yet and are planning to, I just want to let you know that my favorite part deals with a computer keyboard. You'll know what I'm talking about once you see it.

Anywho, things are going pretty well right now. Trying to stay up beat - am hoping to hear about some jobs that I've applied to but will have to wait and see. Happy thoughts, everyone!

Super Fun Sunday

2008-06-30T10:26:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was wonderful. I went down to Angie's for the day. We had brunch at Venus - excellent! I had the Indian Brunch, it was delicious. Also, I only really get Indian when I head out to the bay area, so it really hit the spot. We then hung out at Angie's, walked around campus, went to the Games of Berkeley (a cool store with all kinds of classic and wacky games), and saw Iron Man. It was my second showing, but well worth it. It's just a really awesome movie. We both wanted to see Wall-E but already had plans with others to see it. We kept our word! Then off to Little Plearn for some tasty Thai cuisine, something I also rarely get. Had the Flying Squid, yummy!!

It was also just really great to get out of Stockton, which has been hot, smoky, and uninspiring lately. Got away from responsibility for a while.

Today I'm going to see Wanted!! Looks like it will be pretty awesome.

Jenga!!

2008-06-26T22:40:00.000-07:00

When I was much younger my kindergarten teacher, Ms. Craig, gave my brother and me the game Jenga. We absolutely loved that game. I think it was because even a young kid could beat an adult at it and because everything came crashing down at the end. What's not to love about that? Anyway, Mom and I saw it on sale at Target for 10 bucks, so of course we got it. We played for the first time tonight. I still love it! It's a great game that takes some strategy but not a whole lot of thinking, and things still all come crashing down at the end. I won both games, hehehe.

Angela Jade

2008-06-25T17:15:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was quite a day! Melanie was supposed to be induced today at 7am, but Angela decided she just couldn't wait that long. At 2pm Melanie went into labor. AT 12:57am this morning she was born! Peter and Donna (Melanie's mom) stayed in the delivery room through the pushing, while Matt (Melanie's dad), Mom, Dad and I stood outside listening to the progress - until we got sent to the waiting room. Up until about midnight we were all hanging out in Melanie's room keeping her company and keeping each other company. Anyway, Angela is the cutest little girl I've ever seen. It's amazing to see and hold a baby that's only a couple hours old. She's got dark brown hair and blue eyes (for now). She was 8 pounds 3 ounces and 20 inches long. Completely healthy.

Now, for the entirety of the pregnancy I always had a hard time imagining my older brother as a father, but seeing him with Angela has cleared all that up. At first I could tell he was a little nervous holding her, but they warmed to each other almost immediately. He comforts her when she gets fussy, changes her diapers, feeds her, and looks over at her anytime she fidgets at all. It's so sweet. :) And Angela is such a calm, happy baby. She didn't mind when they gave her a bath or changed her diapers.

I'm sure I'll have much more to say about all this, but I haven't slept much the last two days.

Summer Movies

2008-06-23T22:21:00.000-07:00

My rankings of the summer movies I've seen so far...

1) Iron Man
2) Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
3) The Hulk
4) Prince Caspian
5) Sex and the City - really only ranked this high because I loved the show so much. :) As a movie seemed like they tried to cram a whole seasons worth of shows into two and a half hours. Maybe they should have just done another season of the show - would have made me happier.
6) Speed Racer - completely forgot that I had seen this. And yet, still better than Get Smart. It was like kung fu with cars. Hahaha, actually not a bad movie.
7) Get Smart - A TOTAL disappointment. Somehow Maxwell Smart can suddenly shot any target he wants, has amazing fighting skills, and used to be obese. If you were a fan of the tv show, I think I'd wait for this to come out on DVD before spending the money to see it in the theater. Even if you weren't a fan of the tv show, there are much better movies out right now, go see one of them.

Totally Wireless

2008-06-23T22:12:00.000-07:00

For those of you who haven't heard I have moved into Grandma Stoner's house to take care of her. Last week she entered the hospital with digestive issues. They ran a series of tests that required her to fast - and at 91 years old and 85 pounds, this put quite a bit of stress on her system. This stress was probably much more than it was worth. Anyway, the doctor said she'd either have to enter a nursing home or get help at her house. While nobody specifically said I had to do it, I was the only one that could do it with any convenience. Peter's married and will be a dad any day now (by Wednesday - b/c they're going to induce if Melanie doesn't have it by then). Mom and Dad have their own place to worry about. And I'm single, on summer break, and in Stockton. I didn't want to say no and have it be my fault that grandma had to go to the dreaded nursing home.

My life is not what I want it to be right now, obviously. I have a degree from the top rated public university in the country and so far that's gotten my no where. Well, I guess I screwed it up - so can't really blame any one else. I entered a graduate program I didn't want to go into, got involved in research that I feel is pretty pointless, and then quite one year in. And one year after that... I work as a substitute teacher. But... it does pay the bills. I am still looking for a job, but don't know what direction I want to go in yet. I feel lost, but I am relatively young... right?

Anyway... None of this has anything to do with the title of this post... Because Grandma doesn't have a computer or an internet connection, I went to Verizon and purchased a Broadband Access modem thingy... Meaning, I get pretty speedy internet wherever I want, whenever I want. Basically, anywhere I have phone service I have internet service. It's pretty awesome. I figure this was a good plan because I have no idea where I'll be in a few weeks, months, years... And I'll always want the internet...

I just want to say, that while I get down sometimes and feel like my life is pretty aimless I'm not down most of the time. Just a warning for anyone who happens to catch me in one of my down periods...

Update

2008-05-22T14:39:00.000-07:00

Have continued to substitute (which can be unbearably yucky sometimes). Took a test to get a city job working at the library. Saw Iron Man, Speed Racer, and Prince Caspian. Have read The Spiderwick Chronicles and some others...

My life just kind of continues in a kind of meandering way. I am still unsure of what I want to do with my life - but as Angie reminded me, at least we're still young. I am at an age where it is acceptable to be floundering, for lack of a better word. I still have the option of going back to graduate school (although, some where else, preferably studying something different), getting a job that will turn into a career, or doing something completely different. We'll see, we'll see.

Unfortunately I'm not feeling so great right now. Have an upset stomach and haven't been sleeping to well. It's stinky, but I'm sure I'll get over it soon.

GRAAAAAAAAAR

2008-04-17T17:06:00.000-07:00

I substituted for an English class at my old high school. It was... pretty bad. I think one of the most frustrating things about substituting, other than the fact that they're defiant teenaged punks, is that I constantly have to tell them to watch their language and act like I never use inappropriate language when all I want to do is tell them to shut the fuck up! Hahaha. Seriously, they just poke and prod, poke and prod, because they're trying to get a rise out of me, and all I can do is try to roll with it and ignore them or threaten them with punishments they don't even care about. What is a substitute to do? Well, actually, younger kids tend to be much better because you can threaten them with cutting down on recess or other such things. Anyway... it also seems I'm faced with the same questions whenever substituting in a high school class...

Are you married? How old are you? What school did you go to? Did you party? Do you smoke? Do you drink? And I always answer truthfully and the same... No, older than you, Berkeley, No, No, No.

A lot of cool movies are coming out that I'm interested in seeing starting in May... Prince Caspian (of course, I mean... come on!), Speed Racer, Indiana Jones, Get Smart, Sex and the City, etc, etc, etc.

The Watches

2008-04-10T15:22:00.001-07:00

Last night I finished the third book in the Night Watch series by Sergei Lukyanenko. The series is superb. There is a wonderful plot, dynamic characters, and the whole discussion about good vs. evil. It's just really great. I would suggest it to anyone who likes either fantasy books or detective stories. The two movies based on the books are okay... I'd even say the first one is great, if you consider it completely separate from the book.

Oh, I also finished the second Saiyuki series on Tuesday. Can't believe that in two years of the show they still haven't made it to India! But, I really love the characters and the way the interact, as well as the little side stories. There was one especially cute and funny episode when the four main characters adopt a cat. Not that anyone cares...

Anyway... as far as life is concerned... I have been substitute teaching, reading, watching movies, spending time with Zenitra, cooking family dinners... I also bought a new watch because I couldn't find my old one... and then I found it a few hours later when I was looking for something else. But, I like the new one better anyway... I guess life is funny like that.

Am also really excited about visiting Angie in Berkeley on Saturday. Can't wait. :)

I Got Paid Today!!

2008-03-31T20:22:00.000-07:00

I got my first paycheck for subsituting today. So awesome!

Solar Power!

2008-03-28T09:21:00.000-07:00

I just read a really cool article on msnbc that says that the Southern California Edison Company is going to cover the roofs of buildings covering two square miles with solar panels that could power about 162k homes. I think this is really cool! There are also several other projects going on in California to increase the amount of power coming from renewable resources. Apparently there's a state mandate that by 2010 20% of our electricity needs to come from renewable sources. We're definitely making a move in the right direction.

Sadly I read this article after I read the article about the start of sealing season in Canada. There are permits to kill 275k seals... Apparently there's a new rule stating that they now have to make sure the seals are dead before they skin them. The didn't before?! What the hell?!

At least the United States has banned the purchase of seal products, as have several other countries. The European Union is also considering a ban.

In personal news, I'm really excited because I'm going to have lunch with Susie and then we're giong to see 21. A day out! Yay.

Almost a month...

2008-03-26T10:05:00.000-07:00

It has been almost a month since my last confession... hahaha.

Right now I'm on a sort of forced unpaid vacation. It's currently Spring Break for Stockton Unified, during which time there's no need for substitutes. I'd much rather have worked, but that's okay. I've been reading, watching television and movies, and taking care of my mother and grandmother. I'm so easily entertained - I've re-read several books and started reading Night Watch. It's really good. I am a little confused about the movies though. There are three books; Night Watch, Day Watch, and Twilight Watch. There are two movies, Night Watch and Day Watch. Although both of the movies are contained within the first two parts of the first book. So, it's a bit odd. Of course the book explains much more, as they usually do. The relationships between the characters are also completely different, which makes it more interesting.

Also, I've been reading the news. Not something I usually do, and I find it to be really interesting. I've read a lot of the articles in the Science and Techonology and the Environment sections. Apparently making ethanol fuels from corn is causing a bigger problem than it may be helping to solve. Antarctica is warming much faster than other locations on the globe and huge pieces are breaking off. Spring is coming much sooner than normal. Etc... Of course I read the "regular" news as well, but the science articles seem to stick with me. I guess I've trained my brain over the last several years to focus in on science content... I don't know, really.

Of course I've also been forced to watch The O'Reilly Factor. What a whack job he is... Although, I do still hear some interesting things. Such as Hillary Clinton lying about the conditions when she landed in Bosnia. What I don't understand is why she would lie about that in the first place... maybe to make her life when she was the first lady of one of the most powerful countries in the world that much more exciting. Or to make it sound as though she has more experience in dangerous situations and can keep a cool head or something? I don't know, just seems like a stupid thing to lie about. Especially knowing that other people who were there know that that's not the way things went down. And what was Obama thinking attending church services by Wright, some loon who thinks that the US government developed and released AIDS to wipe out African Americans, among other things. Of course I don't think Obama actually agrees with him, but it's weird to think that he would be associated with somebody like that. Still, I feel that it's better to be associated with some guy with weird beliefs than to be caught in a stupid lie. Because now that people know Clinton lied about that, they're going to be picking her statements and speeches apart looking for other lies. Especially since I have a close connection to a guy who thinks global warming is not happening, that gay couples should not be allowed to get married, and that Cops is an awesome show. It's my dad, if you hadn't guessed already.

A Job...

2008-02-28T17:24:00.000-08:00

Substituting is a terrible, terrible job. Well, of course I'm being overdramatic. I've only substituted about three times, but I have learned that kids can be monsters. Although, there are definitely some really great, really sweet kids. If only I could substitute only for the seet kids... It's a paycheck though. That'll be nice. The monsters have given me even more motivation to find a job - not that I needed much more.

Otherwise, things are going alright. The brakes are out in my car, which means I'm driving my mom's car. I really dislike Saturns... the steering wheel is stiff, the dashboard and wind shield awkwardly sized and oriented, and the placement of the window buttons poor. For some reason the designs put all of the window controls on the middle console, rather than on the door. What the heck is that about? In every other car the window controls are on the door.

I am starting to get a little frustrated with my mom... I know she's hurt and all, but I thought that once I started working she'd at least step up and do some of the cooking or pitch in a little more around the house. I was mistaken. Oh well... At least it's almost the weekend. I don't have work tomorrow either - I have to take my mom to the doctors and then my grandma to her doctor. FUN!! Almost makes me wish I had a sub job tomorrow. :)

updated, belated - ly

2008-02-19T11:21:00.000-08:00

For some reason I wanted my title to rhyme...

I went to see The Spiderwick Chronicles with Zenitra last week. I must say, I really enjoyed it. It was really good - the story was great, the CG excellent, the acting great. I was also very impressed because I had read the day before that the same actor played twin brothers in the movie. I really want to read the books now, but as you can only get them in hardcover I must wait. Actually, I have to wait to buy anything really. I am almost completely broke and an saving every penny to pay my loan payment next month. The only reason I went to the movie was because my mom gave me money for that specific purpose.

This has made me slightly anxious. I went to the SUSD office almost two weeks ago and still have not heard back about my application. The woman said it would take about a week to process and then I would be put into the system, but this has not yet occurred. I have to keep reminding myself that there have been two holidays in that time - but I'm still really concerned. I definitely need the paycheck. I tried to call her but got her voice mail. So I will have to continue to wait.

Well, we'll see. I will continue my job search and see what happens...

boring as ever

2008-02-07T11:44:00.001-08:00

My Mom had a doctor's appointment the other day and got some bad news. The doctor said he thought it could take up to four months to heal, and suggested that she keep it elevated and wrapped in a heating pad most of the day. So basically she's out of work and at home for the next four months. Now, I love my mother, but the thought of hanging out with her everyday, all day while she heals is not at all appealing. Good thing I've finally gotten a job!

The woman at the school district office said that it would take about a week for them to process my application and then I'd be put into the system and can start substitute teaching. Now, of course, this is not what I want to do with my life, but I also need a paycheck and a job. So for now, this is it. Am still searching for a real job, but am not making a great deal of progress. Have applied to a few more jobs and am always on the look out.

That's basically all that's going on. Am taking my grandmother to the doctor today. Fun, fun.

A Spectacular Fall

2008-02-05T15:56:00.001-08:00

The story starts two weeks ago. My mother called to tell me that she fell down at work and badly hurt her leg. She went to the emergency room and they told her that she's torn a muscle in her calf and needs to stay off of it as much as possible. This leaves me to do all the errands for my family, plus all the errands I've already been doing for my grandma. So, on Saturday I was responsible for the weekly grocery shopping trip. I was also left to bring in all the groceries. Well - I had a twelve pack of soda in one hand and a two gallon bottle of bleach when I tripped over a plastic thing that for some reason was on our lawn, and landed on my knees on the brick walkway. Well, my right knee got really f*cked up. Bleeding from a deep cut, swollen, couldn't bend it - the whole works. It's fine now, but for a while it made my mom feel really guilty - the person running errands was limping as well! It's still a bit tender and has a bit of a bruise, but it's much better now.

As for everything else - have an interview at the Stockton Unified School District tomorrow, so could have a job pretty soon. Am also looking for a real job, but that's going as slowly as ever.

Hm... that's about it. Watched the super bowl, was very happy that New York won. Guess I just have something against perfection. Plus I really like the Manning brothers.

Actually On My Own Computer

2008-01-17T18:28:00.000-08:00

A few days ago my parents computer died. It just crashed - they got some sort of terrible virus. I knew it was going to happen - they had no virus protection what so ever. When they told me, my response was - DUH. So while waiting for their new computer to come in, mine is set up and on the internet and all that. Wild. My dad ordered this insane new computer - way over the top. But hey, it's his money and what he wants.

Anyway, things have been rather quiet. Everything's almost set for the substitute teaching. Will actually have a job and money soon. Am really looking forward to it. Am also looking into applying to NOAA. The application is due on April 1st - so I have plenty of time. I am getting the stuff together though. It would be amazing, but at the same time very scary. So we'll see how that goes. The good news about substitute teaching is that it would be the perfect way to have a flexible job situation, which would be perfect if the NOAA thing works out. It's actually a great situation for while I'm trying to figure out what I want to do with my life.

Monday, Monday

2008-01-14T14:22:00.001-08:00

Yesterday was really great. I went to visit Angie in Berkeley. It was really nice to talk to and hang out with her - as always. We also saw Juno, which is a great movie. And ate great food. And had a blast.

Things are pretty much as they always are. Ran errands, am taking Grandma Stoner to the doctor, am continuing to get everything done to become a substitute. Got the results of my TB test - negative. Also, my fingerprints were cleared through the Department of Justice. Now that's truly surprising... guess they never found the gun. Hahaha.

Oh, and if anybody cares I've decided that the way to deal with the whole roots problem is to dye my hair as close to it's natural color as possible. I'm tired of dying it - besides that's not good for my hair.

A Nephew... probably

2008-01-10T10:06:00.000-08:00

Not a lot new has happened since yesterday, but I did get a call from Peter. Turns out that Melanie's OB-GYN thinks that it's going to be a boy! At first was a little disappointed it wasn't a girl, but then I figured, heck boys are a lot of fun. I'm looking forward to meeting the little guy.

And then nothing happened...

2008-01-09T10:16:00.001-08:00

Well, it has been a little over six months since I quit school. I am more relaxed than I have ever been in a sense, but also really stressed out. It's wonderful not having classes, homework, labwork, teaching, and all that to deal with. It's also great not feeling stupid all the time. But it's not such a great feeling when I think that my life is lacking purpose and direction. For some reason I think finding a job will clear a lot of that up, but I don't know for certain.

Today I'm going down to the Stockton Unified School District Police Department to get fingerprinted... again. Becoming a substitute teacher is a much longer process than I had anticipated, and is rather complex. I've taken the CBEST, got fingerprinted at a livescan place, copied the forms, and sent them in. But it turns out there's a ton of other stuff I have to do for the school district, which includes getting fingerprinted... Blah!

I've also been looking for jobs, and I applied to a few yesterday and hope to find more today, but that's proving difficult as well. I think I picked the wrong major...

As for other stuff - On Sunday I'm going to visit Angie, so that will be great. Not sure what we're going to be doing, but doesn't really matter. I know I'll have a good time. Am also debating with myself about what to do with my hair - I dyed it a few months ago, the roots grew in, so I dyed it again last month and now the roots are growing in again. I can't decide if I want to dye my hair as close to its natural color as possible (so the roots won't be as obvious) or just cut it all off and start again. Both solutions have pitfalls, I'm just trying to figure out the best way to solve the problem.

Anyway... that's all.

A Post Once A Month?

2008-01-07T12:05:00.000-08:00

Well, a lot has happened this past month. Went to Adora's and had a fantastic visit. Not only did a get to hang out with Adora a lot, go to Disneyland, visit the Wild Animal Park, see the Golden Compass, and eat wonderful food, but I got to be out of the house for over a week! Hahaha.

Of course, there was also Christmas and everything leading up to that. I played Balderdash with Aunt Kathy, Aunt Terry, and Mom. It's a really awesome game. I love games that make me laugh. Also finished up my shopping, did the wrapping, made goodies, and helped prepare the family dinner. I think this time I actually was able to get everybody something they really liked. I also got some really great stuff. My Mom and Dad bought me a really cute book bag with a cat on it, some DVDs, a CD, and some money for the trip to Adora's.

Hm... Not much has changed. I got the results for the CBEST - passed it, of course. Got my fingerprints done, completed all the paper work, and sent off for my substitute teaching permit. I'm not sure how long it will take to get here, but I hope it's soon. I could really use a job - need something to do with my time and I'd love to get paid for it.

OH, I did see I Am Legend with my Mom. Also read the book. I must say - I actually liked the movie more than the book. It's weird because that so rarely happens. I did read His Dark Materials (trilogy including The Golden Compass). Really loved it - was extremely interesting. Of course, in this case the book was better than the movie.

What's New?

2007-12-10T12:41:00.000-08:00

Well, now that I'm 23 years old, my entire life has changed... Hahaha, yeah right.

I am 23, but everything else seems the same. Still on the job hunt. Have taken my CBEST and will be able to substitute soon. While that is a job, and a wonderful fall back plan I am still looking for a great, wonderful, awesome job. Teaching is still an option, but it remains that, an option. I want as many options as possible.

Still hanging around Stockton. Have been spending more time with Zenitra, who is wonderful. But really, she's the only non-family person I hang out with. Although, I do have dates to hang out with Angie and Adora. Yay for that. I'm really excited about going to Los Angeles to visit Adora - hang around Hollywood and Santa Monica, going to Disneyland (I know, I'm such a kid), going down to Oceanside where I'll hang out, bear witness to a life-changing event, and other fun things. Then off to see Angie - and revisiting one of the greatest places ever, the bay area. What a lovely place. :)

In other news, Melanie is preggers enough that she's showing and her pants don't fit. Makes it a little more real, I'm going to be an aunt and my brother is going to be a dad. It's great. Looking at baby stuff is more exciting - I'll actually have somebody to buy it for. :) Maybe I can find something super cute and disney to give them for Christmas.

Speaking of Christmas... that's exciting too. Somehow, the year in which I'm on a very limited budget, appears like the year I'll actually be getting everybody something they'll really like. I think it's going to a good Christmas.

Hm... that's all I can think of. Didn't win the lottery - am disappointed. Hahaha.

Haven't Posted In a While

2007-10-26T11:53:00.000-07:00

When not in school it's easy to let this get behind. It used to be what I'd do during oft needed study breaks. No study breaks required anymore.

Have been looking for jobs. Although was on a small hiatus for a couple weeks while I helped dig up the sewer line (a gross hard job) and replace the floor in the bathroom. It was a bit crazy walking into the bathroom and seeing ground rather than floor - only much lower than the floor would be.

Not much else going on. Looking for jobs, signed up to take the CBEST (on my birthday, the best present a girl could ask for), reading books, watching tv, making excuses to go out places, etc. My two new favorite shows this year are Chuck and Bionic Woman. They're the only two new shows I watch with any regularity. Have kept up with Heroes and The Office.

Oh! There is one big piece of news. Peter's wife, Melanie, is pregnant. Soon I will be Aunt Steph.

Gosh, what a boring post. Ah well. :)

Slightly annoyed, but optimistic

2007-09-13T12:09:00.001-07:00

Well, I know it's been quite a while since my last post, but it was not for want of things to write. I haven't heard back from the Civil Engineering department yet, but have been working in the Astronomy department full time in a temporary position. I'm annoyed because I initially interviewed for a permanent position, but was then offered a temp position during which I would be trained for Annie's job (Annie's last day is today) and then would apply and get that job officially once the university catches up. What annoys me is that on the first day of the job the woman, Sue, whose idea all this was tells me that it would not be guarenteed that I would get the position, they would do a job search and hire the best person from that. She's also made it clear that I did not get the first job - not only that, I'm not even in the top two. And here I am sleeping on Angie's floor (thanks again Angie - I'll make it up to you!) so that I can start this job right away, at Sue's request, while I look for a permanent place to live. But hey - why should I look for a permanent residence when I don't even know if I have a permanent position. I just feel like I'm getting jerked around.

So that's why I'm slightly annoyed - reading that, maybe more than slightly. The reason I'm optimistic is that I applied for a really cool job last night with the Office of Naval Research. It would be as an oceanographer, which I'm actually qualified for - as I've taken chemical, biological, and geological oceanography, as well as a bunch of other physics, math, chemistry, biology, climatology, and geology courses. That would be wonderful. The position is open continuously and there are several potential locations - Monterey, California and Washington, D.C. are the two I said I would work at. Here's hoping there's something available in Monterey. Although, I think it would be really awesome to work in D.C. for a while. I just hope I haven't jinxed myself. This position would also be great because I can gain experience in case I ever want to try the whole grad school thing again.

Other than that, not much is going on. Like I said, I'm sleeping on Angie's floor. Oh, I guess a wardrobe change has occurred. I figured I'd better clean up my appearance a bit, and have new jeans, shirts, shoes... All from the lady's dept. Except maybe the shoes - classic low-top converse, but hey, they are considered unisex.

Well... that's it for now.

Good news

2007-08-28T14:55:00.000-07:00

The Good and the Bad of Today:
1) was collecting clothes for laundry and bent down and hurt my arm by jamming it into a lamp - bad

2) while still collecting the laundry was checking the pockets of the jeans I was washing and found 4 twenties! - good

3) talked to Peter and got invited to go to Walnut Creek with him and Melanie this weekend - should be fun - good

4) did my federal loan exit counseling and was informed that it was going to take approximately ten years to pay off my debt (paying $288/month) - bad

5) got a call to come in for a job interview! - excellent (more information below)

So far haven't had much luck with the job search. But on Thursday I got an email from my old boss in the astronomy department, Patrice, saying that she has a friend in the Civil and Environmental Engineering department who suggested I apply for their Assistant Specialist position. I did so on Thursday, got a call on Friday from Patrice saying they had called her since I listed her as a reference. And today I got a call from Kristen, in the CEE department inviting me to an interview! Yay for that. Wait, gets better. Emailed Patrice to inform her of the good news and got an email back saying I'd probably get invited to a job interview at the Astronomy department tomorrow. I hope I get one of the jobs. :)

Anyway, not much else going on. Have been reading, watching DVDs, and cleaning. The cleaning has been taking up a great deal of time. Neither of my parents see this as a valid use of their time and so our house is less than clean - the appropriate term describing our house would probably be filthy. Am working on it though. Dad seems to appreciate it - my Mom does and doesn't. Whatever. As long as I have to live here will work on getting this place as clean as I can.

Up in the Air

2007-08-02T21:18:00.000-07:00

As most of you already know I'm back from Italy and have been for a while. It took a long time (about 40 hours) due to cancelled flights (several in fact) and a night spent in the Chicago airport. It was all kinds of special. :) But I was extremely happy to be home. Don't get me wrong, Italy was amazing and I loved it, but I missed home.

Although, I did return to find that I had no idea what I was going to do. I had notified Jim that I wouldn't be returning, I'd cleaned out my apartment (although I left a few things there), and I'd done everything that needed to be done as far as quitting school went... But, then I ran out of things to take care of. Now all I need is a job. Or a plan. Or something. I've never felt as lost as I do now. That's not to say that I regret my decision, because I don't. However, the lack of regrets doesn't change the fact that I don't know what I'm doing. After high school there was Berkeley, after Berkeley there was Santa Cruz... Now what?

It doesn't help that I don't even know what kind of job I want. And I keep getting this nagging feeling that I might have majored in the wrong thing in college. But, my major won't define me forever. I have applied for a job that I'd love to get, but I'm not sure I will. I don't really feel qualified for anything. That's alright though. It'll all work out. Because it has to.

Time for an abrupt change of topic. Despite the fact that I don't have any money flowing in, it's been flowing out... And not on anything critical (well, a couple things critical - like the credit card charges I racked up in Italy and my cell phone bill). I've seen two movies - Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (loved it, although the dementors were definitely a tad strange to me after what they looked like in the third movie, but I suppose things like that are bound to happen when every one of them is directed by somebody new) and Pirates (really liked this one too). I also bought way too many DVD sets - the first season of Psych (hilarious), the first two seasons of The Office (love it - by the way it was almost the same price to buy the two season combo as it was to buy just the second season), and the first season of Sex and the City. I'd never seen the first ten episodes, which surprised me a little. I also bought my brother a really nice (read slightly expensive) birthday present. And Grandma's birthday was yesterday (although we're celebrating on Saturday) so I need a gift for her. Sigh. Good thing I have a chunk of change in the bank.

Alrighty then. I'm lost, but not unhappy. At least, not yet. Always the optomist.

My feet hurt...

2007-07-14T13:16:00.000-07:00

What would a post be if I didn't complain right away?

Warning: the words awesome, fantastic and really cool are going to be used quite a bit in this post, if you don't like it, don't read it.

Today is my second day in Florence. But let's start from the beginning.

Susie and I arrived in Rome a week from yesterday. Rome was really amazing. We went everywhere we could think to go... The Coliseum, Palentine Hill (where in true Stephanie style I bit the dust going down some stairs - left a bit of blood in Rome!), the Cat Sanctuary (which is in an ancient ruin - so cool!), St. Peter's Basilica which was truly amazing (I was in awe the entire time) and we climbed to the top of the Dome - I took at least twenty pictures from the top, the Vatican Museums (where among other things we saw the Sistine Chapel), several churches - including St. Peter in Chains (where the Moses by Michaelangelo is located), the church that houses the Mouth of Truth (can't quite remember the name at the moment), the Panthenon, the Catacombs, and several other places. I was amazed at the number of really interesting things there were to see in Rome. And we saw quite a lot of them. I'll put up pictures later.

Next we went to Siena. My favorite city so far. The city is basically built up around a central square. All the buildings are made up of about the same material and the city has a kind of circular plan. In the center is a museum with a very tall tower (something like 500 steps) that we climbed to the top of, the view was breathtaking. About twenty pictures from there. My knees even trembled a bit on the way up. The stairs were unbelievably narrow (in both ways) and the stairs spiralled up in such a way that the circumfrance was very small. The other really awesome thing about Siena is that the city is divided into 17 neighborhoods, and each neighborhood has their own mascot (things like Giraffes, catepillars, snails, geese, owls, wolves, dragons, fish, etc) and colors. It was pretty easy to determine which neighborhood we were in because each had its own special light post type thing (again, will post pics later) and several people displayed the mascot in their windows. Siena was much cleaner than Rome and just had a small town feel to it. If I had to live in any of the cities visited so far I'd definitely pick Siena.

Florence has been pretty great too, although I don't like it as much as I've liked Rome or Siena. Did see the David (much larger than I imagined it), the Venus de Milo, and several other paintings. We went to the main cathedral (climbed to the top of its dome as well) and some other small churches. Also have watched the sun set on both nights from one of the bridges - extremely beautiful.

Thus far have eaten gelato almost every day - have had strawberry, mixed berry, cantelope, watermelon, banana, vanilla, chocolate, mint, and lemon. Have had pizza several times, each time was like a new experience with each pizza tasting different - different crusts, toppings, etc. Have also had some amazing dinners with gnocchi (one of my favorites), canneloni, etc. The food is just awesome.

So, to recap, Italy has been extremely awesome. I have in excess of 400 pics and will probably take quite a few more in Venice. My one complaint is on behalf of my feet. Have spent almost all day everyday we've been here walking. I have two huge blisters on my right foot, and overall sore feet. But I think it, worth it.

I have much more to say but not enough time to say it. Look for my posts about Rome in the future.

Oh, and a few other things to post about. First off, don't get mad or disappointed (too many people already have), but I've decided not to return to graduate school next year. Have already notified Jim, moved out of my apartment and all that. My parents know and a few others but not many. I know it was the right decision to make for myself but it's hard disappointing people. And because of that I'm no longer going to the summer program and will now be returning to the states on Wednesday. Am looking forward to being at home. My feet are really looking forward to it. Haven't decided yet what my next move is, so also need to get that figured out. Will do so when I get home.

Oh, and Angie, if you're reading this I've started to do the whole "What?" "I didn't say anything..." with Susie. Unless you put her up to it, and you're both just tricking me! I'm sure that's it.

Shuffle

2007-06-23T23:22:00.000-07:00

Apparently you can randomly shuffle the colors on your blog, so I did that. Well, I did it a couple times and stuck with the first one where the font color wasn't the same as the background color.

Will be traveling a good deal in the next few months. Angie and I are taking a road trip beginning next Saturday. We're driving to Portland on Saturday, staying the night there. Hanging about a bit in the morning. Then up to Vancouver for a bit. Then back down to Seattle. It's going to be a lot of fun. We'll return home on Wednesday, the fourth of July.

I leave for Rome on the 6th. Will be in Rome from the 7th to 10th, Sienna for the 11th and part of the 12th, Florence the 13th and 14th, and Venice the 15th, 16th, and part of the 17th. Then off to Urbino for my summer course. The 3rd of August I'm taking the train to Paris, where I will stay until the 8th. Yay for traveling.

Oh, and the 31st of August I'm leaving for Shanghai. Will return on the 10th of September. A busy couple of months!!

Done!!

2007-06-13T10:03:00.000-07:00

Well... almost. I just have to write my final paper for my climate system class and then I will be officially done with classes.

Yay for me!

Why Study?

2007-06-12T22:57:00.000-07:00

Sitting here, getting ready to go to bed. Have a final tomorrow at 8. Have been studying the past couple of days as I tried to work on different things and deal with my students and grading and all that. Spent basically all of today studying, but hey... you know, I'm easily distracted. Especially since it's almost the end of the quarter and summer is about to begin. I find myself battling that part of my brain that says... why study?

Apparently I did much better in my battle than a couple of the History of Life students... There's a graduating senior (who shall not be named) that won't be as much of a graduate as she thought. I guess she took the midterms and the finals, but never actually came to section (which counts for 20% of the grade in the class). And something tells me that if she wasn't coming to section she wasn't going to lecture. Turns out she's not going to pass. Which means... she may not be graduating. Sucks to be her. And she's not the only one. What stupid kids. There was another student who didn't even take the second midterm, never came to section, and thought that Kena and Paul (the profs) would accept her excuse - I'm in a different place in my life, I've already moved on. Turns out she's not getting as far as she thought, not with a degree anyway. Senioritis to the extreme!

Anyway... off to bed. A final tomorrow! I think it will be okay...

But why turn it on?

2007-06-11T12:04:00.000-07:00

This morning was interesting. The plan was to wake up at 6, get ready, be in the lab by 7... Last night I set my alarm for 6... But forgot to turn it on. Which I realized at 7 this morning when I woke up. I looked around and thought... wow, it's pretty bright for before 6... oh shit, it's not before six is it?! Well, needless to say, I didn't make it to the lab at the time I wanted to. Turned out okay though. The run is started, only a bit later than normal. And nobody is running tomorrow, so it's alright.

Anyway, yesterday was pretty great. Got up, studied, did laundry, got some lab work done, and then I drove to Berkeley. Angie and I got gelato (which was yummy), exchanged stories of frustrations with stupid/bizarre people we live with, then we saw Paprika. That was one trippy, but pretty awesome movie. It would have been better if I had understood what was happening for more of it. Maybe if I see it again (once it comes out on DVD) I'll enjoy it more. Not to say that I didn't. Bizarre, but I'd recommend it. :) We then had dinner at Pyramid, yummy turkey burger. So good... And then Target... b/c I never pass up the chance to go to Target...

All in all, a really excellent day.

Alrighty, I need to get some studying done.

A New Post... Finally

2007-06-09T21:32:00.000-07:00

I am totally jazzed about my trip to Italy. It's quickly approaching, and while there is a lot to do in the meantime, both in preparation for the trip and work I need to get done before I go, it has put me in a much better mood than I otherwise might be. Susie and I have figured out our schedule and have started booking hostels. I've also got my passport (look out world, here I come!), traveller's cheques, and a brand new, amazing digital camera.

As for everything else - things are going pretty well. Am basically done with my TA class - just need to proctor their exam on Monday and then meet with Paul, Kena, and Sora on Tuesday to discuss grades for the students. My classes are almost done as well - a final on Wednesday and a paper to turn in sometime next week (even the profs didn't know when it was due...). And then all that's left is to do as many mass spec runs as I can before my trip. Speaking of which, I've done 4 so far, including the one I did yesterday. I have one scheduled for Monday, and might schedule one for Tuesday and one for Thursday. Haven't quite decided yet.

Tomorrow is also exciting because I'm going to visit Angie in Berkeley. I haven't seen her in quite a while and still owe her for her birthday. We're going to dinner and seeing Paprika (which looks really cool, even though I'm not sure what it's even about).

Oh, and yesterday I went to the EPS Picnic and Susie came with me. It was pretty hilarious, it seemed like everytime I pointed out somebody that she'd heard about but never met, she would say - Oh, that's definitely not how I pictured them... Well, now she's seen pretty much every0ne, so there won't be any surprises. I had a pretty good time, but true to my personality was not as social as I could have been. Basically talked to a few people, clung to Susie, and played with Ike (Paul's german shepard).

Also... have been baking a pretty insane amount lately. Made gingersnaps and chocolate chip cookies on Monday (about five or six dozen cookies) and then made more gingersnaps and oatmeal chocolate chip cookies on Thursday. People seemed to enjoy them - I hope so. :)

Anyway... back to studying.

Basically Fucked

2007-05-27T15:34:00.000-07:00

I have a paper due on Thursday. And can I just say, I am basically fucked. I picked a topic this morning, started researching, read a few papers and realized my proposed research was pointless. Hurrah... or something? Anyway, have come up with a new topic, and thus far it seems to be working. Have a few papers picked, some ideas in mind, etc. Basically I took the research I was proposing for my first topic and applied it to a different group of organisms... Whatever.

Anyway. I was amused by Friday's dinosaur comics and never posted about it. Check it out, if you dare. The last frame is the title of a dating book - Meet Someone Who Doesn't Suck and Try Kissing Them. The title is totally hilarious. I don't think it would work for anyone looking to date me though... that's assuming I don't suck. Haha. If you just met me and tried to kiss me, it might make me think that you suck. Especially after if you tried to do it again after I say no. Then you will probably not hear from me again. Too bad T-Rex... Maybe it will work for others?

Anywho, my life is dull and I'm feeling kind of blah about my paper. Kind of beyond caring? I know I will care on Thursday though, so maybe I should do some more work.

Samples!

2007-05-15T13:25:00.000-07:00

Anyone that has talked to me recently is probably aware of the fact that I finally received some samples to work on. Yay for that. Am finally getting to do some real research, instead of just classes. Not only was that getting boring, but I was feeling guilty about it and behind. Everyone else in my cohort has had a project and has been busy working on it. While I have not. Not to say that I don't have a lot to do anyway, which I do. Speaking of which, this is a busy, busy time. I have two paper/proposals due in a couple weeks, a problem set to work on, several papers to read, and TA stuff to do. I am really excited about my samples though. I'm a sad, sad little person. Hahaha.

Also very excited about the glasses I ordered. I ordered them on Friday and will be getting them in one or two weeks (from Friday). They were extremely expensive, but it's to be expected when you have eyes as terrible as mine (meaning I had to get the high index - read expensive - lenses so that they weren't super thick) and wear glasses during all your waking hours (cute frames and anti-glare coating- also read expensive). At least my insurance covered over half of it. Yay for that. Although, it still cost me $315. Oh well, like Heather said, if I wear them everyday (which I will) for the next two years it's less than fifty cents a day. I like how she thinks.

The time is also approaching when I will be in Italy! Less than two months. I am so happy. A little scared, but mostly excited. Especially since Susie's coming with me. Otherwise I think I'd be a little more scared. I will be in Paris alone, but I think it will be okay. Hurrah for grad school... Such a change in attitude from just a few months ago. I'm certainly glad of that. I still have those moments when I wonder why I'm here, but for the most part it feels like a good place to be. Nice people, interesting classes, and all that. Plus I'm pretty busy and I'm getting into the swing of things. I'm feeling pretty happy.

Not that it really matters...

2007-05-08T23:42:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about relationships and have come to the conclusion that I'm not in a place in my life where I have the time, energy, or desire for a relationship. I'm busy and generally stressed, and I think adding a relationship to all that will just make me even more stressed out. I also think I'm not mature enough to handle a relationship and factor in the other person's feelings.

Not that any of this matters, because there aren't any prospects. Nobody's interested in having a relationship with me anyway. Which I guess makes it all very easy. Although, perhaps me saying I'm not at a point where I want a relationship is my way of rationalizing why I don't have one. But I feel like I honestly don't want one and am not ready for one. So I'll give myself the benefit of the doubt. :)

On another note, my problem set is complete and ready to be turned in! Yay for that. Okie doke, well it's time for bed.

I work really hard... I promise

2007-05-08T09:47:00.000-07:00

Here I was sitting at my computer, going through my morning routine. Check email, respond to any important ones, and then read celebrity gossip. As I was reading an article about Lindsay Lohan Sora (my fellow TA) came in to ask me some questions. Whoops. Sigh. I do work hard...

Anyway, exciting day. Super busy. Hasta luego.

Oh goodness...

2007-05-07T09:21:00.000-07:00

Okay, first off had a fantastic weekend. Went to the Ladies' Day Luncheon and spent time with some of my favorite people. Awesome. Came back Saturday night.

Yesterday was... unproductive. Not that I wasn't working. Which I was. I studied for my midterm for a couple hours. And tried to do my problem set. Worked on it for about three or four hours. Didn't get a single problem done. I kept trying to make it work and figure it out, but couldn't... so that was lame.

And things are coming due. It's hard to believe that the quarter is going to be over soon. Hurrah! Two months from today I will be in Rome!

Okay... this was a lame, random post. Excellent.

Jetting Around the World

2007-05-01T22:58:00.000-07:00

Today was momentous. I booked both the Italy and China Trips. Will be leaving for Rome on July 6th, traveling around Italy until the 17th, attending the Urbino Summer School of Paleoclimatology until August 3rd, at which time I will take the train to Paris. I will stay in Paris until the 8th, then fly home.

I'm so excited!!

Then on the 31st of August will be flying to Shanghai, will stay there until the 10th, and then will return home.

What a summer!!

Reducing CO2 Emissions?

2007-04-25T12:14:00.001-07:00

Yesterday we were talking about ocean acidification in class and got onto the topic of figuring out how to predict future CO2 emissions. There are several scenarios - one in which we just keep going as we are now, what happens if it slows down, speeds up, etc.

Well, my prof told us that she read a paper that said becoming vegetarian is more helpful to the environment than buying a hybrid vehicle! Who knew? I wonder if I should become vegetarian?

Concentrate?

2007-04-24T13:04:00.000-07:00

I cannot concentrate today. Have quite a bit of work to do... And yet... Every ten minutes I look around or check my email or get up to go get something or... blah, blah, blah.

Oh well. I will work - and if I take a break every ten minutes, guess I'll just have to work longer. Good thing I started at 8.

Terrible or Acceptable?

2007-04-23T18:29:00.000-07:00

I read my TA evaluations... Let's just say, some of them were terrible. Comments about what a ditz a was (the word ditz was actually used), how unorganized I was, and how unknowledgable I was. Admittedly, I was teaching about dinosaurs, something I do not know about. There were also comments about how I was nice, approachable, helpful, and very organized. Definitely contradictory... Have no idea what to make of that. I'm glad Colleen came to talk to me about it. She helped me realize that while I was unknowledgeable about the topic, it wasn't my fault. I was forced into the situation. Which I knew, but it was nice to hear somebody else say it.

I don't know what to make of it for the most part though. I do know that it was a really bad idea to read them, and that I shouldn't have. I also know that I will be much more considerate of anybody I'm filling out an eval for. Some of the kids were just plain mean, and while I don't think I've ever written anything mean, I will be extra careful in the future. Constructive critcism, not jabs about personality or my voice (yes, my voice). I'm tired of hearing that one. Yes, I wish I could change my voice, but it's not going to be possible, so don't criticize it you stupid punk (yes, some of them made me angry).

Oh well, I will try and move past it. It would be easier if I weren't TAing this quarter. Sigh. If you're ever a TA don't read your evals!!

Beyond Bizarre

2007-04-22T10:08:00.000-07:00

I know this is an odd thing to post about, but here it goes. Anybody that has read my previous post knows that out of the last six eggs I've used, two of them had double yolks... Well, it has happened yet again! I decided to make an omelet for breakfast (2 eggs) and 1 had a double yolk!! Freaky!!

What are the odds?

2007-04-19T12:58:00.000-07:00

I've gotten into the habit of making myself eggs for breakfast. I had a carton of 1 dozen eggs. So far I've used 6 of them. Out of the six I've used two of them have had double yolks! Bizarre, right? I've only seen double yolks a couple times I can remember, and now I've seen them 2 out of six times I've cracked an egg open. I don't know the odds of this happening, but they've got be impressive... don't you think?

Yellow!

2007-04-17T12:17:00.000-07:00

Last week there were a few instances of Heather and I accidently matching color schemes as far as our clothes go. We both came to school with the same color blue shirts and similarly tinted jeans on. It was a bit embarrassing. Another day we both wore red shirts, although mine was a deep wine color whereas hers was a bright red. Today, while wearing different pants (her's khaki, mine jeans) we are wearing the same shirt. The same color yellow. Very odd. We've decided we need to do something about this. At least, we keep joking that we do. It has inspired me to go shopping at some point and pick up some new shirts. Something needs to be done! Hahaha.

On another note, I got into the Italy program! Yay. Susie and I are also planning to go to Italy a couple weeks before it is to start so that we can spend a few days in Rome, a few in Tuscany, and a few in Venice before I go to my program and she goes to another part of Europe to visit a friend. Exciting!!

Italy?

2007-04-15T10:52:00.000-07:00

On the USSP (Urbino Summer School of Paleoclimatology) website it says that people accepted into the program will be notified by April 15th (today). I haven't heard anything yet. But it seems odd that people would be notified on a Sunday. Perhaps I'll find out later? I don't know.

Well, all I can say is that if I don't get into the program I'm going to Europe anyway. Screw it. I want to travel!! :)

A little bit about me

2007-04-12T23:53:00.000-07:00

My post earlier today was a rant of frustration and a little bit of humor, although I'm not sure that came across. Anywho, a little bit about my personal life.

Got a shiny new phone!! It's very pretty. It's the MotoKRZR m1Fire (or something). It's shiny, red and sexy. I love it. It takes pictures and video. Plays music. And is sleek and thin. I even plunked down some cash to buy some ring tones for it. I got O Valencia by the Decemberists, Boston by Augustana, Here It Goes Again by OK Go, and Move Along by the All-American Rejects. If you'd like any of these particular songs to be the ring when you call (not that many people do) let me know. :) I'm sure I'll buy more ring tones at some point, even though I rarely ever get calls because it's fun. :)

What else? Busy day. Talks, classes, etc. Fun times I'm sure. Actually, the talks were pretty interesting. One on beach erosion in the Oceanside area (Adora's hometown) and one on magnetic inclinations of magnetic minerals on the Tibetan Plateau. Pretty interesting stuff. Stayed a bit late in my office to get some reading done. Good thing too, since I didn't really do anything when I got home. Was busy playing with my new phone. Although, I did do my federal taxes. Yay for me. Also yay, because I don't owe any money! hazaa. Thought I was going to.

Did feel a bit awkward for a bit. Apparently my department is having a Casino Night Cocktail party on Saturday. I wasn't really planning on attending for several reasons - heard last year there was quite a bit of drinking and drug use (yuck on both counts, but mainly the latter), would have to dress up, and yucky boy might be there. Anyway, was sitting in class today when two of my cohort asked if I was going - responded, "nope". Then they wanted to know why, I told them I didn't want to go - they didn't seem to think it was a good excuse. Cheryl, a girl I just met actually, came to my defense. She understood why I wouldn't want to go, and told them that if I didn't want to go I didn't want to go. So that was nice of her. We made introductions and all that, so that's nice. A class buddy. Even though I already know everyone else in the class, but it never hurts to have more class buddies.

Anyway... not much else going on. Am looking forward to going to bed. So I think I'll start doing the things to make that possible. Goodnight!

Can We Fix It?

2007-04-12T12:58:00.000-07:00

(This is a long, semi-boring rant about global warming. The top is a discussion of how we know it's happening. The bottom is what people are trying to do about it.)

Global warming is a fact. It is happening. We can see this in numerous records (both from proxies and actual temperature measurements from instruments over the past couple centuries). It is also our fault. I know there are people out there that will try and tell you that this is a natural process, the Earth is doing it's own thing, as it has done for the past few billion years. Well, in the past it has been natural, and part of this change is probably natural, but we are contributing a great deal to the current climate changes and associated affects.

Not only are we adding CO2, CH4, O3, CFCs, and several other greenhouse gases (thus increasing the inputs) we are also reducing the sinks (deforestation, clear cutting, etc). The junk we are adding to the atmosphere is causing warmer temperatures, which increases the amount of water vapor that the atmosphere can hold. Water vapor is a tremendously powerful greenhouse gas. Here's a quick and dirty discussion of why greenhouse gases cause the planet to warm. We get shortwave radiation (visible light) from the Sun that enters the atmosphere (some of this is reflected back to space and some is absorbed by molecules in the atmosphere), it hits the Earth and the Earth sends back longwave radiation (Infra-red light) that then interacts with molecules in the atmosphere that absorb it and send half of it back down to Earth, trapping that energy in the atmosphere causing increased temperatures. So, different molecules absorb and re-emit different wavelengths of radiation. So CO2 absorbs and re-emits certain wavelengths, as does water, CH4, etc. Now, some of this radiation makes it all the way through the atmosphere and out to space - this is called the atmospheric window. This happens because there isn't a molecule or enough of that molecule in the atmosphere to absorb and re-radiate that wavelength of radiation - so it gets through free and clear. What we are doing is adding molecules to the atmosphere that will interact with wavelengths that before now got through unhindered - basically we are shutting the window. This is bad. Heat/Energy can't get out as well, so it's causing increased temperatures.

Now, if somebody tries to tell you that some natural process is increasing the concentrations of the greenhouse gases in the atmosphere you can either be sure they are lying or they don't know what they are talking about (either because they've been misinformed, which is entirely possible in this political climate, or they are just talking about of their ass). We know this from simple calculations, we know what the concentrations of CO2 and CH4 and all the others are in the atmosphere, and it's not too difficult to calculate how much we've put in. There's also the isotopic signatures of the gases - which can tell something about their sources. It's us. Sad but true.

Why am I talking about this? Well, first off. I study it. Secondly, it seems like there are a lot of people out there that don't believe it (including my Father - but no, I didn't sit down and have this conversation with him, because then he may realize I'm studying climate and nobody wants to go down that road...). Third, we had a really cool discussion about what can be done about it in my biological oceanography class. There were two options dicussed for how to decrease the amount of CO2 in the atmosphere (b/c even if we stop emitting there's already a whole hell of a lot of it in the atmosphere that needs to be dealt with).

1) Iron fertilization. Basically it's taking out ships and dumping nutrients, especially iron, into the oceans to cause phytoplankton blooms which should draw down CO2. This seems like a neat idea, increase the primary productivity of the oceans. Although, there are several drawbacks... We have no idea what effect this will have on higher trophic level organisms or on the ecosystem. Those phytoplankton that bloom can produce some very bad chemicals, by-products, such as demoic acid (toxic) and DMS (dimethyl sulfide).

2) Liquify the CO2 and put it at the bottom of the ocean. STUPID! This is a really terrible idea for several reasons. First off, what about all the organisms that live on the bottom of the ocean? This will kill them. Secondly, what if this changes the chemistry of the seawater making it acidic? If that happens, those little plants we're counting on from #1 to draw down CO2 won't be able to grow, and then what? Or what if somethings disturbs the CO2 on the bottom of the sea and it just comes back out again?

So these leads me to a few conclusions. #1 We're basically screwed. #2 We need better ideas about how to solve the problem. #3 People need to be educated about what is really going on.

It All Begins... Again

2007-04-05T17:55:00.000-07:00

The new quarter has started. Well... on Tuesday, so this is a bit behind.

I was freaking out in the beginning, but I've begun to settle back into things. I feel like it's going to be a pretty insane quarter as far as the amount of time I'm going to be spending on things. Two real classes - Biological Oceanography and The Climate System - which both have term papers and problem sets, one of which has a midterm and a final. TAing - teaching 4 sections! Yikes. Plus, Jim still has me reading papers and all that good stuff. And this might actually be the quarter when real work begins. Wouldn't that be shocking?

In other, but related news, there is going to be a new graduate student next year. A Rachel Brown. Don't really know anything about her, but it's strange to think that I won't be the baby anymore. I'll be one removed from the bottom rung! Somebody may come to me for advice, answers, etc. Crazy, right? Kind of makes you feel sorry for her! Hahaha.

Oh, AND, I got more info on the China trip. It's going to be interesting. There's so much stuff going on during the conference. Tons of talks, poster sessions, field trips, etc. There are some really neat tours that I'd love to do, but I'm not sure how much time I can spend doing the stuff. Although, perhaps I can extend my trip a bit to check some of the stuff out. I don't really know how this stuff all works. Heather and I plan to ask Jim about it tomorrow at our impromptu lab meeting tomorrow.

Hm... and since school is basically my life I don't really have much else to talk about. Hm... Tragic...

A Final.... Tomorrow?!

2007-03-19T10:20:00.000-07:00

The past few days I have been studying quite a bit for my Chemical Oceanography final. I've been over my "official" notes several times and over the notes of the most important topics even more times than that. I have concentrations of different constituents memorized, along with chemical formula's, definitions, and vertical profiles. Although, today, the day before the final, I find myself... not as worried about it as I maybe should be. I pulled myself out of bed at the crack of 9:45 and thus far have taken a shower and played around on the computer. I suppose there are three potential causes for my current behavior:

1) I have studied enough and feel comfortable that I will get a good grade.
2) I am tired of studying this crap and feel comfortable that I will get a passing grade.
3) I have all day to study.

Or it could be a combination of the above. Wouldn't surprise.

I'm just looking forward to this final being over. I have so many post-final things planned!

A Dead Day?

2007-03-17T12:02:00.000-07:00

Now that classes have ended finals are coming up. I have 1 final. Yep, only one. Yay for me. Too bad it's chemical oceanography. I'm sure it will be okay though. Am just trying to memorize all the crazy formula and the various concentrations of different elements/constituents. Then comes trying to tie everything together. But, I have until Tuesday! Excellent.

In other news... As many of you know, my guilty pleasure is to read the Entertainment news. Well, Angelina Jolie is adopting another child, this time from Vietnam, which is wonderful. I'm glad that she's working with children and doing what she can to make this child's life better. However, it really bugs me that she's changing his name (from Pham Quang Sang to Pax Thien) when he's already 3 and a half years old. She's changing his whole life (most likely for the better) and it just seems like he's not going to keep anything of his former life. I am not exactly sure why it bugs me so much, but it does.

Anyway...

Get Smart!

2007-03-14T09:11:00.000-07:00

A movie is currently in the makes based on the old tv show, Get Smart! I'm very excited about it. Not only is it based on one of my favorite childhood tv shows, the casting alone would probably get me to go to it. Maxwell Smart is going to be played by Steve Carrell and 99 is going to be played by Anne Hathaway. It's going to be fantastic! It's not until next year, but I'm definitely looking forward to it.

In less exciting news... turns out I may be TAing again next quarter. History of Life. May be losing my fellowship... Bah! Oh well, nothing I can really do about it.

To do...

2007-03-11T12:19:00.000-07:00

The end of the quarter is upon me. I'm more than happy to welcome Spring Break, it's all the stuff that comes before that I'm not so thrilled about. I will get through it though. Most of it will be done by Tuesday. Then all that's left to do is study for my final. The quarter system is kind of crazy, but I'm really excited about having no homework and no guilt during spring break because I won't have classes that I'm returning to. Excellent.

While I have a lot to do, I find myself taking multiple breaks and finding things I have to do... hahaha. Well, I guess I really did need to take Colleen to the urgent care yesterday, but I certainly didn't need to take all the keys off my keyboard and clean them. I also didn't need to go out to dinner last night. Or watch Fullmetal Alchemist. But then, maybe I'd have blown a circuit if I hadn't... Who knows? I did write three single spaced pages yesterday. So that's something. So far today have written... about a half a page. Hahaha... that's okay though....

Anyway, my life is pretty dull. Am looking forward to spring break, seeing Cal people, and just hanging about. Yay for the end of the quarter.

He's Married?

2007-03-05T20:32:00.000-08:00

My brother Peter got married yesterday. It's still kind of hard for me to believe. I'm really happy for him because he and his wife (craziness) looked so happy yesterday, and she's been really good for him. I will try my hardest to get along with her and her side of the family. Everybody was super friendly yesterday, but then yesterday was a day when you really had to be. Plus, everybody was just happy and excited, so it was really hard to be negative about anything. Peter was handsome, Melanie was gorgeous (if you want to see pics I posted some on Facebook), and both of my parents were all dressed up! My Dad bought a new suit, my Mom a new dress. Everybody looked so nice. People also tell me that I did (I'll let you be the judge of that).

A good chunk of the wedding was spent taking pictures (tons of them!). And I had to be in quite a few because not only was a bridesmaid, but I was the groom's sister. Meaning I had to be in most of the family shots. I feel like I've been in enough pictures to last for the rest of the year, at least. But I also had a lot of fun. Hung out with my cousin Elizabeth and her kids, James (16) and Alyssa (2). Alyssa was completely enamored with me. She ran up and jumped in my arms quite a few times, she wanted to dance with me (mostly b/c dancing either meant bouncing up and down or spinning in circles), and she sat on my lap while the special dances were happening and while she ate her cake. I think I'm actually in quite a few pictures with Alyssa that the professional photographer took... guess I'll have to wait and see.

I'm still just finding it hard to grasp fully that he's married. It also makes me wonder about my future. No dates, no boyfriend, no nothing... I know it's really early to be saying this, but I really don't want to die alone... I want to get married and have kids and all that stuff. I just need to keep telling myself that I'm young and that I have plenty of time for all that.

Anyway... I guess I should get back to work. Life is a party!

For me?

2007-02-25T15:39:00.000-08:00

The last post was for Adora. I think maybe this one is for me. hahaha.

Yesterday was pretty terrific. Went to Berkeley and hung out with Angie. I had a really great time and am really glad I went. We ate a lot of yummy food (and sweets) and saw Dreamgirls and went shopping. Good times.

However, I find myself back at school and depressed (again). I'm really unhappy and frustrated. I feel trapped by scholastic and familial obligations. I am tired of looking for the stupid shoes I am supposed to wear. I am tired of graduate school. I want to work during the week, have weekends open, and have a plan. Graduate school was the plan (sort of). But within graduate school there is no plan. I don't have a project (even a small one), I read random papers, I have classes and meetings that seem pointless and ARE boring. I just don't want to do it anymore.

I was all excited about Italy and China, but am finding myself feeling more and more unhappy about it. They're both going to be insanely expensive (well, considering how much money I have) and from what I can tell I'm footing the majority of the costs. I will also be going to go to conferences and lectures, which I am decidedly unhappy about. I want to go to travel and look around. I do NOT want to go to be bored out of my skull for hours on end. I can stay here and do that for much less money.

I am tired of waiting for school to be over for my life to begin.

I'm also tired of feeling like people aren't taking what I say seriously.

For Adora

2007-02-22T13:32:00.000-08:00

Because Adora was bored she asked me to update this, so here I go.

A lot of stuff has actually been happening recently. Mainly just humdrum stuff though. Classes, Homework, Teaching. My life is dull. What can I say? I suppose some time has been devoted to preparing for Peter's wedding - getting the yucky dress altered, looking for shoes (no luck yet - curse you big feet!! or small shoes, depending on how you look at it), and thinking about a gift (I want it to be original and not too expensive). It's not very fun at all - am also picking up on my Mom and Dad's feelings about the whole thing as well. Blah.

School is going okay. I was really shocked today when in my chemical oceanography class somebody asked what pore water was... Not that I expect many people to know, but I definitely expect an ocean sciences grad student to know. There has also been an insane amount of meetings lately - or maybe it's the same amount and I'm just going more often? Grad school is definitely lame in that respect. Sometimes they are really interesting, sure, but a lot of the time I feel like it's a waste of my time. I could be working, or sleeping, or reading PhD comics...

I'm getting pretty sick of graduate school. Graduate school just makes me feel stuck. I think it's a combination of not having a lab project to work on and reading paper after paper... Not sure I'm cut out for this. I tend to just trust the author and think they know what they're doing, but then Jim will say... and this isn't correct because... blah!

Anyway... am going to try and get some more work done before dinosaur lecture.

You could be happy...

2007-02-04T22:33:00.000-08:00

For some reason I've been listening to the songs You Could Be Happy and Set Fire to the Third Bar by Snow Patrol quite a bit. I really like the lyrics and they have a soothing effect on me, even though they are sad, or perhaps it's because they are sad.

I sometimes wish I knew what I want. Graduate school is finally starting to make sense and I'm finally feeling comfortable where I am. Although, I still sometimes wonder if I picked the right path or if there is a right path. I'm always reminded of the idiom - The grass is always greener on the other side. I think as long as I can be happy/content most of the time then I have chosen well, even if it's not perfect. Let's face it, nothing can be perfect, but I want to get as close as I can.

And if I don't have it all figured out right now, that's fine too. I'll just continue with what I'm doing. If other options present themselves I will consider them as they come. But for now I think I am where I need to/want to/should be.

Also, even though I'm not quite sure who all reads this, I want to say I'm grateful for the wonderful friends I have. You listen. You are patient. You explain things to me that I don't understand. You agree with my good decisions and disagree with my bad ones. Thanks for being who you are. :)

Exciting!!

2007-01-30T13:27:00.000-08:00

Being a graduate student certainly isn't as bad as it once appeared. This could have something to do with the fact that from July 18th to August 3rd I'll be in Italy taking a summer course on paleoclimatology and from September 3rd-7th I'll be in Shanghai attending a conference on paleooceanography. I've never been out of the country, and now I'm going to be going to two countries in a matter of months! I'm really excited. Am hoping I can go a bit early to both to hang out and spend some extra time exploring. We shall see.

Other than that school is pretty much the same as usual. Being a TA is weird, but not too bad. I have a ton of grading, but I'm getting it done. Midterm for my students next Tuesday and midterm for me next Thursday. Yay for midterms...

Hm... that's basically it.

Crud, gotta get a move on.

Quick note

2007-01-24T09:12:00.000-08:00

Wow, it's been over a week since my last post. Needless to say, things have been a little hectic. It's okay though. I feel like I can handle it. Last quarter there were a lot of moments when I considered quitting - I don't do that anymore. Yay for that. I feel more comfortable and slightly more confident (at times). It also helps that I'm making friends in my department and going on outings.

Anywho, I guess I really should be working right now. Maybe I'll post again later.

Two Feet Planted?

2007-01-12T10:16:00.000-08:00

First off, I want to say I am in a much better mood today than I have been. Almost chipper. I think this may have something to do with the fact that after I got home yesterday (around 5) I did nothing but slack. I took a nap, watched some anime, went to dinner with Susie, watched TV with Susie and her friend, Laura, watched some more anime (Fullmetal Alchemist - which is so cool!) and then read some manga (Hana-Kimi - yes Adora, I started a new series... actually started it quite a while ago, am on 7 or something...).

That's not to say that I don't have a ton of work, but somehow it's not bothering me as much. I know that I can get it done. There's no need to be super stressed all the time.

Although... it seems like I can't get two feet on the ground and walk a path for the quarter. I keep getting pointed down smaller branches of the trail. I started off taking only one class, then Chemical Oceanography was added. Started off with three sections (actually four this week) - two on Wednesday and one on Thursday... Now have one on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. The new section is during the time I had scheduled for my offfice hours - meaning I have to change that as well... Oh well... have to pick a new one... Will worry about that later.

Today I'm holding my first office hour. Wondering if anyone is actually going to come. It'll be interesting to see.

Well, I guess I should actually get some of that work done...

Exhausted and Slightly Down

2007-01-11T11:04:00.000-08:00

Haven't posted in a while... A lot has happened - hence the exhausted.

I taught for sections this week - one of which was not my own. I have about 90 students all together. I also have to take the class along with the students, since I don't know anything about dinosaurs... Sweet...

Also started taking Chemical Oceanography - a lot of work as well.

Jim is also in this mood where he wants to meet a lot. Which is great... but also frustrating. Since he picks a time to meet, and then seems to forget what time he said and email me to meet "later" than planned, when it is actually earlier than planned. He's also disorganized, which can cause some problems. Don't get me wrong, I like him... it can just be hard sometimes.

And because I'm exhausted I'm finding myself a little depressed about things. It's hard to be optimistic when I feel so worn out. I will try though. I hope to catch up on sleep, work, and fun this weekend. That will certainly help.

Anyway... oh - almost forgot. Might get to go to Italy this summer to take a Paleoclimatology Summer Course. Exciting, but Jim hasn't said anything since the first email, so not sure if it's going to happen.

Back in Santa Cruz

2007-01-02T13:11:00.000-08:00

Sigh, I am once again in Santa Cruz. I am extremely happy to be back in the apartment, free of parental supervision and the smoke that fills my house. Yay for clean air to breathe! Sweet.

New monitor is awesome. It's all pretty and flat and happy. Makes me happy.

School starts in a couple days - yuck. Seems like everytime I come back I dread it more and more. Well, I am here now. Not sure when I'll be leaving again. Perhaps I will come to love it... ? Not sure what the quarter holds. Guess I will find out.

Anyway... kind of a random, fragmented post, but I guess everyone should be used to that by now.

Holiday Bowl!!

2006-12-28T22:50:00.000-08:00

Adora and I went to the Pacific Life Holiday Bowl today. We had a fantastic time!! There were paratroopers that landed on the field, the bands to watch, fireworks, fighter jets that flew over head, and there was also a great football game. Cal won 45 to 10. So awesome. Makes me wish I'd gone to more football games during my undergraduate career. So much fun. We've decided to go again next year if Cal is in the bowl. Anyone want to join us?

That's about it. Am having a really great time at Adora's. Yay.

Home for the Holidays

2006-12-20T22:16:00.000-08:00

After a great week with Angie (except for that darn conference!) I am home for the holidays, well, Christmas anyway. Monday and Tuesday I spent hanging out with Peter and spending time with Grandma S. Peter and I went shopping, had lunch, and just spent time together. We had a really great time. Peter is definitely a better person than he used to be. He's also pretty fun to shop with.

Today I drove up to Aunt Kathy's - chatted with her while Uncle Bob took a conference call, then we all went to lunch (Japanese), then Aunt Kathy and I went shopping. She got some gifts for Uncle Bob and got me teach yourself to crochet and knit sets along with some yarn. Projects to work on. =)

Looking forward to spending some time with Mom. Tomorrow. Also hope to get together with Zen and Julia at some point. Zen wants to see Eragon, which I am all for, and swap books. I have too many as it is, but I can definitely share with her.

Oh my gosh... I'm bleeding!

2006-12-13T18:21:00.000-08:00

Hm... I don't know if this is a well known fact or not, but when I'm bored, stressed, or worried I tend to either bite my fingernails or pick at my cuticles. Turns out, the AGU conference has caused me to worry and be bored... which has caused me to pick at my cuticles to te degree where I looked down at my notes and saw blood... whoops... To remedy the problem I bought band-aids. It was also suggested that I wear gloves. Good idea. Perhaps I will get a very thin pair that will protect my hands but will not hinder my writing/note-taking.

Being bored is well understood... why I am worried? I have no idea whether I'm going to the right sessions (although, I assume I am because they tend to be associated with what I'm assuming I will work on in the future) and the sessions I go to tend to reveal to me the extent of my ignorance in my own field. I have pages of notes, which contain several citations of papers I need to read. Whoohoo! Hahaha. Could be worse, right?

Today was good though. Went to the conference for about 4 hours, then Brandon (one of Jim's other students) invited me to lunch with him and this guy, Mica, from Rice. Good lunch. They had an interesting discussion about samples and different theories about paleoclimate during the PETM and ELMO that I couldn't really contribute to, but that I enjoyed anyway. Didn't hurt that Mica was pretty darn good-looking. :)

Then I cut out after the conference to attend the UCB Astronomy Department Christmas Party. It was a lot of fun. Got to see all the people I used to work with; Lorraine, Patrice, Janet, Bora, Dexter, etc, etc. And the profs all put on a skit. So funny! Yay.

What will I be up to tonight? I dunno. :)

An Update...

2006-12-12T21:22:00.000-08:00

As you may know, my first quarter of graduate school is now complete. I haven't gotten my grades yet, and am not sure I want them. That's okay. I will instead focus on the present. Am currently staying with Angie (yay!) while I attend the AGU (American Geophysical Union) Conference in San Francisco (not so yay).

Yesterday and today I took the BART over to SF and sat through hours of lectures. Some are interesting, some are alright, and some are insanely dull. It can be amusing though, when at the end of someone's presentation somebody in the audience "asks a question" which is basically a statement about how wrong the presenter is and how their own data and interpretations are more valid. I suppose I wouldn't find it amusing if I were the presenter, but as I am just an observer, I think it's just peachy.

Staying with Angie is fun. Sunday night we had Naan and Curry, yay Indian food! Last night we had dinner together and watched tv. Watched Wife Swap for the first time; found it both disturbing and amusing. Then tonight I met Angie and Kathryn for dinner at Cancun and then went and got Gelato with them.

Tomorrow, Thursday and Friday means more lectures, more boredom, but this weekend will be fun! Angie and I are going to see the Nutcracker on Friday (haven't seen it before) and then on Saturday we're heading to the city. We rented a hotel room! That will be a lot of fun. A super classy slumber party. I'm very excited. It's really nice to be around someone I feel completely comfortable with and don't have to worry I'm going to say something offense, embarrassing, or whatever.

Yep, that's all.

The Quarter is Done

2006-12-06T17:01:00.000-08:00

But, I can't seem to relax. Maybe it's AGU looming in the foreground or the fear of failing Isotopes lurking in the background. Whatever it is, I wish it would go away.

I think... maybe... making rice krispie treats will help me relax...

Just Enough...

2006-11-29T10:00:00.000-08:00

Lately I feel like I have been doing just enough to get by. Have been waiting until a couple days (if that) before an assignment is due to even start thinking about doing it. I know that this may seem like par for the course, as it is the end of the quarter... but I'm not sure.

I need to complete the transition from undergrad to grad student. Or perhaps this is what being a grad student is all about? Well, teaching and research start next quarter, so we'll see how that goes.

School is almost over...

My Crazy Family

2006-11-26T23:42:00.000-08:00

My family is completely and totally crazy. I spent Wednesday to today at home. Observing my family led me to two conclusions... 1) Each member of my family is a little crazy, irrational, bizarre in their own way. 2) I am like each and every one of them in both personality and appearance. Kind of makes me happy. Kind of makes me sad.

Anyway...

And then... there was Apple Pie!

2006-11-18T23:00:00.000-08:00

Today Colleen, Susie, Sara and I did a pre-Thanksgiving Thanksgiving dinner. It was amazing! There was turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes, corn and peas, cranberry sauce, and bread. It was really delicious. AND, we also made an apple pie. I think the apple pie was the best part. We actually bought apples, peeled and cut them up, added the spices, put them in the crust (actually a frozen crust, we didn't make that part ourselves) and covered it all with a crumb topping (that we did make). It was excellent! Oh, and apparently, I am skilled at peeling apples. Hadn't ever done it before, but I must say, I'm pretty good at it. All in all, I was really proud of us for the meal we created.

On a slightly sadder note, I feel like I am going to really embarrass myself during my preliminary interview on Tuesday. I feel like I really dropped the ball with this. Have thought that about a lot of stuff this quarter. But, I feel like I'm at the stage where I'm not sure how prepared I'm going to be. I'm studying and everything, but I don't know... I feel like this is one of those moments where everyone is going to figure out that I really don't belong here. I'm starting to get freaked out again. Oh well, after Tuesday there's just a day until Thanksgiving. Then a little over a week until my birthday. Then a few days later school will be out. Yay for that.

Am really excited about Thanksgiving. Super excited about winter break.

Little Less Talk and a Lot More Action

2006-11-13T23:17:00.000-08:00

I have been complaining entirely too much. I complain incessantly. Forgetting that everyone has problems just as bad or worse than mine. Complaining just makes it seem as though I think less of other's problems. Which... I guess I do. I need to stop being so selfish with my sympathy. So, if you hear me complaining, do me a favor and say... "Steph, only complain if you have something to really complain about." Hahaha... still sounds really self-centered, huh? Anyway, it's my goal to complain less about all the work I have and actually do it. Cuz, funny thing, the less time I spend complaining and the more time I spend working results in more work getting done! Can you believe it? Hahaha...

Talking to Colleen today made me realize that some people just don't see me for who I am. Assumptions are bad, people! As many know, I get stopped and asked for directions and talked to by strangers a good deal of the time. This doesn't usually make me happy... but anyway... It seems as though people look at me and assume that I'm unassuming and approachable. For example... today I got asked for directions and talked to in the laundry room. Just because I look like a dork and harmless, doesn't precisely mean that I am. I can be cold hearted, cruel, self-centered, manipulative, and the like, as some of you know. I'm not always sincere when I smile and I'm not always joking when I say something and then laugh. I'm not always nice just to be nice, either. And while I don't always mean it when I say nice things, I usually do mean it when I say something mean. This isn't to say that I'm always a terrible person, but I can be. Just remember that next time you're asking for directions from someone who looks harmless and approachable.

Exhausted and Disgruntled

2006-11-09T11:12:00.000-08:00

Didn't get much sleep last night (about 3.5 hours)... And had to give my proposal to Jim. Am not happy about it at all. I mean, most of it sounds okay to me, but I feel like it's going to be the first instance of him thinking... oh... wow, she's not very bright...

And on top of that... My math problem set is due pretty soon. And I'm not sure how to do about half of it. Perhaps more. Suck. Fuck. Yuck. Duck (just cuz they rhyme).

Yep, my life in a nut shell. Looking forward to a nap following math...

A Field Trip and A Bar

2006-11-04T23:23:00.000-08:00

Today was the second grad student seminar field trip. A much better field trip than the first! We hung around beaches most of the day and played while doing a little bit of geology. It was also wonderful weather - warm and sunny - and better because we all knew that we'd be sleeping in our own beds tonight. A big plus!

The bar - So it was Lisa's birthday today and to celebrate everyone went out to Poets and Patriots, a so-called Irish pub. Not sure what was supposed to make this place Irish, but can't really be that picky. Anywho, it was pretty fun. Chatted with people, was social, and played darts (!). It was a good time for everyone. I have been acting pretty antisocial... or I guess... like a homebody. Not really going out and doing things like this. Everyone seemed pretty glad I was there. It was nice. I mean, of course there were awkward moments where I felt like I was on the periphery of all the conversations going on, but most of the time I was talking with people and joining in and all that good stuff. yay for me. Think I'll start being more social.

Did get some strange looks though when I went up to the bar and ordered a Pepsi... oh well, the alchies can think whatever they want. hahaha.

Anywho, am exhausted and going to bed. Yay for a Saturday well spent (and by that I mean a Saturday in which no homework was done...)

Teaching

2006-11-03T22:07:00.000-08:00

In the winter I'm TAing for History of Dinosaurs. Sounds really cool and I'm actually pretty excited about it. Although... Just checked the schedule of classes- there are 9 discussion sections with room for 30 students each that last 1hr 30min.... And 3 TAs.... Meaning I'll be teaching 3 1.5hr sections! And have a total of 90 students (well assuming full enrollment...). My goodness! Oh well, I think I only have to take one class... so it shouldn't be too bad. Still pretty excited.

2006-11-01T09:38:00.000-08:00

This is pretty darn funny!

Sorry for the Freak-out

2006-10-30T20:37:00.000-08:00

Things are looking better now. I had a productive day. Had pretty good classes. And figured out I only have to take one "class" next quarter. I will be TAing and doing independent study, but I feel like I'll be much less stressed out.

Sorry if you were concerned.

Also, it helped that Susie and Colleen were there to talk to me last night and then Colleen again today at dinner. Didn't hurt that she had some hilarious news... hahaha...

Yep...

Unhappy

2006-10-30T10:43:00.000-08:00

I find myself still unsure as to whether or not I want to continue with graduate school. I'm unhappy for long stretches of time. I also find myself thinking I'd be happier working. There's a wide variety of jobs that I'd like to do... I wouldn't mind just working in an office, or at a library, or in a bookstore, or I don't know... I'm just not sure graduate school is where I want to be. This feeling as put me in a rather... emotional instability field. Things that normally wouldn't bother me are making me exceedingly unhappy - like getting a less than stellar grade on an assignment, or an off-hand remark from a professor or another student, or being unsure what the next step in a homework problem is. And things that would normally make me really happy aren't making me as happy as they normally would.

I miss weekends and evenings. For example, this weekend was awesome (because I was away from school) until it came time for me to come back to school, at which point I found myself wishing that I didn't have to come back. It's not that I want to stay at home, because I really, really don't, but ultimately I'm not happy in Santa Cruz. The place is wonderful, but the school, not so much.

Anyway, this weekend I spent time with family and also hung out with Julia. Rented Lucky Number Slevin and watched it with Mom. An excellent movie, full of twists and turns and good actors. I was very impressed. Wish I had purchased it, rather than rented it. Went and saw Running With Scissors with Julia. Very bizarre. That's all I can say. Don't really know how to describe it or how I felt after seeing it.

A Midterm?

2006-10-26T22:55:00.000-07:00

Today was my first and last midterm of the quarter... I was in denial pre-midterm, didn't really study (well, not as I studied in undergrad), and just kind of walked in to take it. And I still don't really feel like I took a midterm today. I did do the whole post-midterm celebration, but it wasn't really all that heart-felt. Oh well.

The celebration included Sara, Susie and I eating out (Seabright Brewery) and then coming back to watch The Little Mermaid. My Mom bought it and shipped it to me in a care package. Yay for new DVDs! I had forgotten how much I love it.

Anyway... Going home for the weekend. But before that... I have a paleoclimate brown-bag meeting at 12:15 that I'm supposed to read a paper for and a meeting with my 205 group that I'm supposed to read 2 papers for. Have been super busy and unable to read said papers. Will need to split it up between now and tomorrow morning. Yay for me... hahaha. I wish. Oh crap... Also need to print out my math and isotopes problem sets to take home to work on. Being a grad student is a little harder than I thought it was going to be...

Hm... guess I should break out one of those papers and start reading it... It's all very exciting!

A new post...

2006-10-24T09:34:00.000-07:00

Yesterday after my Graduate Seminar I wrote a post indicating that I was not so happy. Somehow this post disappeared from my blogger, and probably a good thing. I need to try and stay happy and not get so upset about things. The brunt of it was that I was upset because a professor made me feel really stupid. I'm not saying that he did it intentionally, but he did it. I called my Mom and talked to her, and she made me feel better. Reminded me that I am in fact not the stupidest person in existence, by a long shot. Horrah for me.

Anywho, things are looking a bit brighter today. I do have a midterm on Thursday, but I think it will be okay. Just have to get serious about studying for it. I can do it!!

Well... that's all. You're dismissed. :-P

Enlightenment?

2006-10-19T14:51:00.000-07:00

Over the last few weeks I've learned a few things

1) Homework sucks, but I get very happy when I'm able to finish it. Days of agony end in harmony if I am able to finally figure out the answers, or at least what I think they should be.

2) Scientific papers are pretty boring. Although, I seem to find Jim's papers pretty interesting... Good choice in research?

3) Part of the reason I'm not so happy with school - the classes I'm taking. Apparently I'm taking too many (as Heather tells me anyway). Interesting...

Yep... Okay... I have to give a presentation today. Think happy thoughts for me!

Um... yeah, not a whole lot is going on besides school. Did have a crazy dream last night where I was some sort of vanquisher of evil using different types of bows and arrows depending on whatever the type of evil happened to be... Interesting, as I am a Saggitarius.

Also have discovered something interesting, but cannot discuss it here! Talk to me later if you're curious.

A Good Weekend

2006-10-15T23:25:00.000-07:00

Angie came to visit! And we had a really good time. I'm super glad she came. It's not that we did anything particularly exciting, but it was really nice to spend time just hanging out with her. We did go to the mystery spot - which was mysterious. We also decided to plan a winter trip to New York - Yay!

In other news... I registered for the AGU conference today. Also became a member of AGU... Isn't it exciting? I know you're jealous. Not sure if I'm supposed to go everyday, but it's Dec. 11-15th in SF... at least I get to be in SF while Union Square is all decorated for Christmas... Maybe I'll take some time out from the conference to hang around a bit.

Also, I have a new vision plan through my graduate student insurance... but I don't know how to choose a provider... it's just a list of names, locations and phone numbers.... blah... I will figure it out tomorrow...

2006-10-11T23:35:00.000-07:00

Gosh, I have been such a downer lately. Here's to being positive!

Hm... yeah... that's all. :-D

Frustrated

2006-10-11T11:53:00.000-07:00

As anyone who reads this knows, my main reason for having a blog is to complain about things going wrong in my life... so here it goes! (said with a slight hint of facetiousness)

1) Spent an hour on the phone with the people at Verizon Wireless... actually an hour on the phone with some guy named Ron from verizon. My problem? No service. Their solution: it's because your phone is so freaking old. Right... So basically my phone won't let me make or receive calls if I have less than 2 bars... So what they did is make it so my phone will make and receive calls when I have no bars. What a solution. Stupid bastards.

2) My cold will not go away. And keeps getting worse. Yay for that... makes all my other problems seem even worse. Bah.

3) An annoying presence that will just not go away. Can't really elaborate here, but some of you probably know what I'm talking about.

Anway... Other than all of those things, life is going pretty well. School seems a bit better. We'll see.

What Have I done?

2006-10-09T14:18:00.000-07:00

Well, I guess the top spot on my list of regretable things I've done is currently that I let myself get sick. How could I do this to myself? A cold. Stupid. Hahaha.

Okay, really... I think one of the top things on my list right now is coming to graduate school. When I first arrived there was this constant voice of worry in my head saying things like "you of all people, should not be here" and "what am I doing here?" So I wrote it off as nerves. But now, a few weeks in the voice is steadier, devoid of hysteria, and saying things that are a little more convincing - "what are you going to do with a PhD? do you really want to teach?", "oh my god, I'm going to be here for five years and I don't even know why?" and "who the hell cares about this crap?". I have always believed that I came to graduate school because I didn't have anything better to do with my life... and now that's starting to really bother me. I feel like graduate school shouldn't be the fall back plan...

So now I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to do graduate school, but I don't know what else to do. Plus, I'm already here... what was I thinking??

The Coolest Dorky Person I Know

2006-10-02T20:52:00.000-07:00

Dee told me that I was the coolest dorky person she knew during the field trip, hence the title of this post. So, the camping trip was a lot of fun and I got to know all the people that went on it a lot better. I'm really glad I went. I mean, I was right when I said it was going to be cold because it was! It got to below freezing at night. But aside from somewhat miserable sleeping conditions it was a blast. I would recommend visiting the Eastern Sierra to anyone interested in pretty and/or exciting geology, but would also recommend staying at the motel in Lee Vining to anyone not appreciative of sleeping on the ground.

Oh, and the Decemberists are pretty cool. Good music. Just thought I'd add that...

Also, I'm trying to figure out if I want to drop my math class or not. Just not so sure it's going to be useful as far as my research is concerned. Thinking of taking Climate Dynamics instead - definitely seems more like what I should be taking. Have emailed Jim to ask him about it. We'll see what he says.

Less than an hour

2006-09-29T07:15:00.000-07:00

The New Grad Student, EART205 camping trip begins today. I don't want to go! Cold. Sleeping on the ground. Cold. Uncomfortable. Cold.

Maybe it will be fun... Sigh.

Awesome

2006-09-24T23:19:00.000-07:00

Went to the bonfire. Had an awesome time. So glad I went. Not only did I have the awesome time I was just mentioning, but everybody was there (of the new grads) and if I hadn't gone I'd be the only one that didn't go. How sucky would that be? I'd be labelled as the anti-social one. And even if that is the case, it'd suck for them to find out so early!

Anyway, yeah. A great time. Yay for being social.

Pessimistic, but still having a good time

2006-09-24T15:26:00.000-07:00

Haven't posted in a while. Things are going pretty well. I get along great with my roommates. I hang out quite a bit with Colleen, who's super cool. Not that the others aren't, we just don't seem to hang out as much.

School... well, it worries me a bit. Classes haven't really started yet. I had one math class. The homework looks really yucky. I just feel like I'm not qualified to be here and that it's only a matter of time before people start to realize it. I think I'm not the only one that feels this way, but I don't know for sure. It gets me down every once in a while. Moments like these make me want to quit school and go... somewhere else. But I'm even more afraid of having no plan, than I am of having a plan that I'm not sure about.

I have an office, which is pretty cool. Have been there to do reading, but that's about it.

Leaving for a camping trip on Friday. Am not very excited about it. In fact, I have no real desire to go. There's also a bonfire thing happening tonight - don't really feel like I want to go to that either. Am being pretty anti-social. I will probably go, just don't want to.

Oh, and verizon doesn't work on campus. Can't even use my cell phone. Totally unhappy about that. Don't want to cancel though - deactivation fee. But then I feel really dumb paying for phone service I can't even use. Lame.

I am still having a good time though. Thursday was fun. Went with Colleen downtown. We ended up having dinner with one of her friends, Brian, and then hanging out. Had a fantastic time. Laughing and joking around while sitting in a candy store/ice cream place. Today was also good. Went to Capitola's downtown area. Walked around. Got food. Ate ice cream. Yummy.

Yep. That's my life.